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LA Weekly's Birthday Wishes to Morrissey

May spawned a Morrissey, 50 years ago today, to be exact. Yup, Moz -- the son, the heir, the boy with the unremovable thorn in his side -- has been roaming the planet for 50 years, throwing witty lyricism like gladioli and wanting to be loved just like everybody else does; we continue to offer but keep getting the cold, yet stylish shoulder (doesn't he ever listen to his own song, "The More You Ignore Me, The Closer I Get?"). What does this mean to Angelenos? Nothing special, really.

This is Moz Angeles, where every day is a Morrissey occasion, whether you're at the Cat 'n' Fiddle in Hollywood waiting for his lowness to pop in; watching a show by local cover band the Sweet and Tender Hooligans (including tonight at the House of Blues); or listening to Hooligan singer Jose Maldonado's weekly web radio show "Breakfast with the Smiths" on www.indie1031.fm. And let's not forget the annual Smiths/Morrissey convention where like minded fans can gather free from scorn and judgement, and Morrissey-solo.com, David Tseng's online meeting place that's been reporting the old man's whereabouts for more than ten years before he even rolls out of bed. (It's only stalking if a restraining order has been filed).

Sadly, Morrissey is in Manchester today -- something about him being born there. And while you might not be on a tour bus with the book Morrissey's Manchester in your hands, there's obviously still plenty to do here. To begin, draw the curtains, crawl under the sheets and sing your miserable life. And if you insist on throwing an unhappy birthday party, please hire these guys.