It's time for the much-anticipated annual CMT Awards, held tomorrow night on Country Music Television. But even those who don't know much about country -- or think the whole thing is little more than a red state conspiracy -- are likely raising eyebrows at this year's choice for a co-host, the excruciatingly adorable Kristen Bell.
Known mainly for her show Veronica Mars and freaking out about sloths, Bell has absolutely zero country cred that we can determine. (Toby Keith is the other host.) But she's actually not the least-qualified person we can think of. In fact, below are five folks who would be waaaayyyyy worse.
5. Chaz Bono
Born as Cher and Sonny Bono's daughter, Chaz later changed her gender, and sashayed his way into America's hearts on Dancing With the Stars last year. But despite his dance-floor chops -- and his pop band Ceremony's hit "Could've Been Love" -- country music is pretty far out of his jurisdiction. And Nashville doesn't seem quite ready for a transgender star.
5. Kanye West
He dons Air Yeezys and Louis Vuitton rather than cowboy boots and Wranglers, sure, but even worse is his penchant for jacking the spotlight from country stars. Then again, we'd love to see him try to pry the microphone from Blake Shelton's massive paws, or even just see him storm out of the auditorium à la his 2004 loss at the American Music Awards to country darling Gretchen Wilson. (By the way, great call on that one AMA!)
3. Tegan and Sara
They once criticized Tyler, The Creator for being misogynist; imagine how they feel about Jason Aldean, who's nominated at the CMT awards. (If you're unfamiliar with him, this should give you a good sense of him.) We suspect their distaste for modern country would be rivaled only by modern country's distaste for them.
2. Tupac's hologram
Think of the money to be saved on plane fare -- they'd just need to put Holo-Pac on a jump drive and UPS him to Nashville. Unfortunately, it's probably not in the cards; if country fans were to come come up with a hologram on their own, it would be more likely to choose Waylon Jennings.
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1. Alec Baldwin
As nice as he might look in a narrow-lapeled tux and black suede ten gallon hat, one suspects Alec Baldwin might spontaneously combust upon walking into the Bridgestone Arena, where the CMT awards will be held. If he managed to get to the podium, the plethora of right-wingers surrounding him would likely summon his inner Jack Donaghy. So yeah it would be a bad pick. But Stephen Baldwin? Now we're talking.