Music-powered vibrators. What a concept!
The original, from a company called OhMiBod, has a cigar-shaped design that you plug into an iPod; the vibrating stimulus matches the beat of the song playing.
But now there's a pair of fancier new wireless versions, and, guess what? We test drove them both. (Boy, are we tired.)
The first is called the Freestyle W, above, and it comes in the J-shaped "rabbit" style.
Understand that it's not designed for rubbing out a quick one. It'll do in a pinch, of course -- it has a standard on/off switch -- but if you're going to use it with music, you'll need a half hour of "me time," minimum, so you can skip through songs to find the ones that work the best.
Once the doors were locked and it was just us, our iPod, and our Freestyle W, we found it to be a delightful experience. An added bonus: the music makes you less aware of your moaning. We found ourselves not caring if the neighbors heard us. Whee!
Our musical selection? We first employed a song with a heavy, thumping bassline: "The Hardest Button To Button" by The White Stripes. But while visualizing Jack White got us started on the right foot, the tune's bump-bump-bump-bumps were too far apart to get a good buzz going.
Imagine if your lover approached oral sex with the same intensity Meg White attacks a kick drum: bang, bang, bang, bang, stop, start, stop, start -- and you begin to see the problem.
Better were songs with a fairly constant drone of sound, alongside a good tempo -- keeping vibrations fairly continuous so you can use your hands to provide the rhythmic slide that gets the job done. "Sexy Boy" by Air was one of these; the "sex" in the title aside, it was the unrelenting synthesizer base that helped create our sonic boom.
Then there's the Club Vibe, pictured above. It's meant for active masturbators on the go; its receiver picks up the ambient sounds of live music and vibrates in kind.
You can use it by yourself of with your partner. You put it in the included-panty with a pocket for the vibrating part, and the keychain receiver unit can be held up to amplifiers. Or, your partner can speak into its receiver, or even simply push its buttons and watch you squirm.
Since it's designed for public use, the kink factor is high. While you can certainly use it on your own, we tested this two-piece vibrator with a partner.
We started at home, with our partner holding the receiver mic to his lips and warming us up. It was a nice start to the evening, and then we headed out to a house party, giggling our way up the driveway. The music wasn't very loud; more effective was when our guy began discreetly slipping the remote receiver unit out of his pocket from time to time and saying "Hellooooooo theeeeeerrrrre."
This was most fun, he said, when he could see us jump, and then try awkwardly to regain our composure and continue our conversation.
Things really got going when we headed to Bootie LA. Amid the pumping noise at the packed Echoplex -- and after some adjustment of the sensitivity button -- the Club Vibe had us going, even if we sometimes felt a bit paranoid. But once we loosened up, we began to enjoy walking around in near-perpetual state of music-induced arousal.
Half laughing, half panting, our partner put his lips close to our ear and sang the lyrics to an Arctic Monkeys song: "I'll bet that you look good on the dance floor." And then, with the added help of some dirty-dancing-style grinding on our partner's leg, we came, right in the middle of a Maroon 5-Deadmau5 mash-up. Five stars!
Below: We pick a winner.
Conclusion: It's tough to choose between these two vibrators, because of the completely different experiences they offer. If a public sex kink or a couples-oriented experience is what you're after, go with the Club Vibe. But on a purely orgasm-inducing level, the best all-purpose, music-driven vibrator for the money is the Freestyle W. It hits the inside and the outside and makes us very happy.
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Happy Valentine's Day!
See more vibrator reviews here: 9 Best High-Tech Vibrators To Buy For Your Valentine.
For more content like this, check out our sex blog, After Dark.