How about this? I'm the most ahead-of-the-curve, on-point, groundbreakng motherfucker in the history of humankind.
"Aw shove off, you hoser!" you might say, but it's true. Why am I a such a complete and total badass? Well, I found Ylvis' "The Fox (What Does the Fox Say?)" video before most other people did.
It's true. So how then does this mean I won the goddamn internet? Because YouTube told me. (Image below.)
Just a couple weeks ago I received this correspondence in my email.
And what it says is true. I first found the video in late summer, accidentally, when I was searching for reasons people would or could possibly hate Norway -- a pressing global issue, no doubt. (What? I had my reasons.)
Anyway, once I stumbled upon it, I immediately knew that this was something remarkable.
Norwegian irono-pop-humor at its finest! I immediately sent it around to my friends, family, co-workers, well-wishers, and Linked-in contacts.
"LOL, them Norwegians are totes kicking our butts at humor!" I told my famous comedian friend Josh Androsky .
"Check this," I said in an ongoing Gmail thread I belong to.
The response varied. "The fuck?" and total silence were common.
But most other people didn't agree. In fact, Gawker, Buzzfeed, and every other hard-hitting news organization in America validated my sweet find by spreading it further and further into the internet. Those same outlets even asked pointed questions about why Norwegians are so hella quirky and fun. Now it's past 293 million spins -- which is like almost one full PSY on the Gangnam Scale.
So it's now clear that all those jerks who didn't realize how amazing this was -- aka my friends and family -- can go to hell. And that email from YouTube proves it.
But I'm not done with my family yet. Over the holidays, I taught my nephew how to sing the song so he can be the coolest kid at daycare. He knows the dance now, too. Awesome genes run strong in my line; I'm the best uncle in history.
So thanks YouTube! The only question now is: How can I top myself in 2014?
Well, it seems that Norway's pretty much tapped. Don't get me started on how dry a well South Korea is right now. I'm thinking we'll be looking to the 'stans again. Maybe Paraguay? Uruguay? Either way, you, Google and everyone else will know what it is and where it's happening when I, Paul T. Bradley, Global Executive VP of Digital Trailblazing, sparks that shit.
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