How to Determine if Something Is Metal as Fuck
Photoillustrations by Jake Swearingen
There are few certainties in this world. Sure, the sun comes up pretty regularly, tax day comes every April and whatnot. But that's about it. Heck, even the heavy metal community is rudderless when it comes to its own standards. Why, recently at the Lamb of God show we overheard various groups of dudes identifying things as "metal as fuck" that were clearly not "metal as fuck." Have they no shame?
Most likely they just haven't been educated. Metal as fuck-ness needs a scale by which supreme judgment is facilitated. It's not something that we can specifically lay out for you -- that would not be metal as fuck. But check out our guide below for some pointers.
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