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Homo for the Holidays

"I want to see the checkbooks," screamed Assemblywoman JACKIE GOLDBERG to the crowd gathered at the HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS afternoon shindig benefiting the nonprofit Gay and Lesbian Adolescent Social Services, which runs residential group homes for throwaway gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender teens. Goldberg reminded the mostly male and buffer-than-your-average-bear crowd why they needed to support the kids: "Think how people treated you when they thought you were light in the moccasins." The event's co-chairs, actor STEVE TYLER and Ellen's mom BETTY DeGENERES, were delighted with Goldberg's characteristically hard sell, which prompted attendees to race across the back yard -- the party was held at one of the group homes -- and hand checks to Goldberg, who then announced how much each person gave. Longtime GLASS supporter SALLY STRUTHERS wasn't doing much running, since she was in a leg cast festooned with red ribbon, making her gam look like an oversized candy cane. Boys in stretch shirts and their fag hags, as well as artist MARK LEE GOLDBERG, Solid Gold choreographer KEVIN CARLISLE, and actors ALEC MAPA, TIM MACULAN and JEFFREY JONES (facing child pornography charges), milled about the small silent auction. Actress KATHY NAJIMY and Dan Band husband DAN FINNERTY showed up late with their daughter, missing the Christmas pageant-like performances of some of the GLASS youth-home residents. The assembled gave big kudos to the skit "A Boy's Kwaanza," which featured a sassy young fellow who learns the holiday season is more than just talking about bling bling with a Z-snap formation. Not everyone in the well-heeled crowd seemed convinced, however.

--CHRISTOPHER LISOTTA

CINÉMA VÉRITÉ

Resting atop the new Ivar nightclub, CINESPACE, the futuristic, Blade Runner-esque digital theater-meets-supper club, which officially opens in January with a screening of American Pimp, packed in a slew of industry suits and the cleavage-baring babes who love 'em, technophile hipsters and celebs at a preview party. Checking out the coming attractions were MICHAEL BOLTON, SHANNON ELISABETH, E!'s MELISSA RIVERS, Milli Vanilli's FABRICE, Fresh Prince-ess TATYANA ALI, former Buckcherry singer JOSH TODD, Big Brother houseguest/Belly co-owner MIKE BOOGIE, teen dream SETH GREEN and Naked Chef JAMIE OLIVER, no doubt getting inspired by Cinespace chef MONICA MAY's tasty tidbits. With throbbing dance beats and trippy visuals flashing on giant screens, plus naturistic performance art that featured two women on stilts, painted as vines, the multiroomed venue, designed by May's hubby, hot-spot hotshot RICKI KLINE, definitely took on an otherworldly vibe. The free drinks didn't hurt either, which also made the bathrooms very popular, though the clear-glass front door freaked out some of the more shy ladies in the house, even though there were private stalls. Of course, the see-through entrance didn't even phase the dudes, who had more to worry about since you really could watch 'em doin' their business. That's one way to get discovered in Hollywood.

--LINA LECARO

PORK QUOI PAS?

Festively dressed patrons in Yuletide getups mixed with the black-jacketed art crowd at the after-party for VARLA JEAN MERMAN'S HOLIDAY HAM. Santa Claus hats may have panicked the caterers into decamping to a back hallway of THE VILLAGE's Advocate Gallery. Or perhaps it was the crush of ravenous guests who'd just finished watching Varla Jean stuff her face, first with holiday candy and then with Cheez Whiz, both times while simultaneously singing. Astonished by the almost immediate disappearance of food and drink at the after-party, one hungry guest remarked, "The straights must be overwhelmed." But after reconnoitering in the hallway, the beleaguered caterers reappeared, armed with endless trays of drinks and appetizers, including salmon, curried chicken and bruschetta. Among the party-goers were designer BOB MACKIE and drag diva MOMMA, who noted that Varla Jean's creator would be appearing in the upcoming Dragstrip 66 event "Studio 66 -- A Disco Christmas Fantasy" at Rudolpho's. Having shed the big wigs, high heels and sequins of his theatrical alter ego, JEFFREY ROBERSON was nearly unrecognizable in jeans, motorcycle boots and a cowboy shirt. Politely requesting a beer, the star passed when offered champagne. Lucky for the caterers that they were dealing with the mild-mannered Roberson. Varla Jean would have demanded not only Cristal, but also some Cheez Whiz.

--SANDRA ROSS

DECO-DANCE

Drag provacateuse DR. VAGINAL DAVIS' new monthly club BRICKTOPS lived up to its promise of "a dazzling tribute to Jazz Age café society Paris." A host of hipsters ready to abandon MTV and Christina Aguilera in favor of Louise Brooks' films and Kurt Weill packed the PARLOUR. Revelers showed up in cloche hats, flapper dresses, pin-striped suits, and newsboy pants making a fashion statement not unlike Voluptuous Panic, the Feral House book on Berlin's erotic nightlife between the wars, pages of which (quel coincidence -- not!) were Xeroxed and decorating the walls. Most of the VELVET HAMMER was on hand, looking as though they stepped out of the pages of another recent Feral House offering, Hot Girls of the Weimar Republic. Among those slurping up the evening's drink special, a "chlamydia cocktail," were crooner GLEN MEADMORE, cartoonist DAME DARCY, man-about-town MIKE "Kitten" GLASS, tress trimmer HENRY PECK, filmmaker AUGUSTA, and tuxedoed performance artist RON ATHEY, as well as authors LISA TEASLEY and CLINT CATALYST. The divine Dr. D. finally made her long-anticipated entrance, strolling through the club in a slinky leopard number with a feathered headdress, proclaiming in a lazy drawl, "I'm just a bar maid and a barkeep -- I don't really sing and I don't really dance!" She then promptly burst into song as accompanist NORMAN GHOULSON launched into "Lucky In Love" on the harmonium, while fellow ivory-ticklers KRISTIAN HOFFMAN and MR. UNCERTAIN looked on in smiling approval. As the evening ended, a girl standing near the front door dressed in hip-hop attire executed an impromptu, perfect Charleston, proving that even in Hollywood, life really is a cabaret, old chum.

--PLEASANT GEHMAN


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