When comrade Trump became president, I wondered what it was going to be like when he went abroad. I knew the world would see him and his base differently than they see themselves, and from that, the world would see America differently. Any goodwill or benefit of a doubt that had been previously afforded America would evaporate seconds after Trump opened his mouth in front of a live microphone on foreign soil.
I also was interested in the outcome of the comrade’s first date with his dominant top, Vladimir Putin. Sure, they’ve flirted on the phone but until only a few days ago, they had never been able to gaze into each other’s eyes and have their magic moment.
However, things got interesting well before. In Warsaw, Poland, where people were bused in to fill up the photos for Trump’s odd and hard-to-endure speech, Trump appeared at a press conference with Polish president Andrzej Duda. Trump made statements that were so tangled, I had to listen to them a few times to make sense of the Kafka smoke bomb he deployed.
In a confusing exchange with NBC reporter Hallie Jackson, she asked him twice about Russia’s interference in the 2016 presidential election.
Jackson: “Will you once and for all, yes or no, definitively say that Russia interfered in the 2016 election?”
Trump: “Well, I think it was Russia, and I think it could have been other people in other countries. It could have been a lot of people interfered.”
Trump then talked about President Obama’s handling of the information given to him by the CIA and how he did nothing about it because he thought Hillary Clinton was going to win. Ms. Jackson followed up.
Jackson: “You again said you think it was Russia. Your intelligence agencies have been far more definitive. They say it was Russia. Why won’t you agree with them and say it was?”
This is where Trump liquefies logic and goes full diaper on the world stage.
Trump: “I agree, I think it was Russia, but I think it was probably other people and/or countries, and I see nothing wrong with that statement. Nobody really knows for sure. I remember when I was sitting back listening about Iraq. Weapons of mass destruction. How everybody was 100 percent sure that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction. Guess what — that led to one big mess. They were wrong.”
I watched this exchange over and over online. Some of the postings underneath included, “The journal-whore at the end! What a bitch!” “Holy shit that chick at the end needed to shut the fuck up.”
This was obfuscation on a level that not even George W. Bush could construct. It was Cheneyesque in denial and almost Rumsfeldian in its WTF-ness. It could almost be considered brilliant, if Trump was in any control whatsoever of what he was saying. He kind of Mr. Magoo’s his way through a paragraph, a word salad à la Sarah Palin, if she had been forced to live in Midtown Manhattan for a few years and the rapid pace of intellectual exchange had neutralized some of her faux-homespun, no-clutch cranial gear-grinding.
If you are truly in the “America first” camp, wouldn’t you want to know if any country had the temerity to in any way interfere with any election in America? What if it was Germany trying to push the election toward Clinton — would Trump supporters act the same way? Stupid question, I know, but it’s amazing to me how selectively some people form their opinions. Actually, it used to be amazing; now it’s part and parcel of winning.
Then, there was the much-anticipated meeting in Hamburg, Germany. When your American representatives in the room are Trump and Secretary Drillerson, you will never know more than what they tell you. That might end up being one of the most interesting conversations in presidential history, and for the most part, it will be known to only a few.
What took Trump, Putin and Drillerson approximately 136 minutes to talk about? According to the secretary of state, a lot, just not much about hacking. From what Sec. D said, Trump asked, Putin denied, and it was on to the next order of business. OK, so there’s nothing to see here — if you can crane your neck around all the meetings with Russians that J-Kush, Don “Baby D” Trump Jr. and others associated with the Trump Crime Family had leading up to the election.
Putin was Yo-Yo Ma and Trump was a 1733 Montagnana cello. No president in your lifetime has been played so well by a Russian leader. At least Trump’s severely challenged base has that. Since comrade Trump was “honored” to be with Putin, a lying, murderous fuck, and Putin was “delighted” to meet with Trump, the base must fall in line.
Thanks to Trump’s recent visit to the G19, the term “red state” will never be the same again. In fact, it’s already started. I was listening on the radio days ago to crackers talking about how they agreed with Putin’s values on marriage and the right to bear arms. One person said that if you put Russians and red staters in a room together, they would get along just fine. Y’all commies now!
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
Now, I know that some squishy libtard snowflakes are still butt-hurt about crooked Hill’s loss. They think that Putin invaded and partitioned off Crimea, blah blah blah. That’s just alpha manspreading, cupcake! As to all the journalists critical of Putin who just happened to have died in Russia over the last several years, they needed to shut the fuck up and someone took care of it. All you need to know is that these two titans said a lot of words and it was great and huge things are gonna happen. The past? Well, we’re not gonna relitigate that.
More from the mind of Henry Rollins:
White America Couldn't Handle What Black America Deals With Every Day
Bowie's Blackstar Is on the Level of Low and Heroes
No Matter Who Wins, America Is Only Going to Get Angrier