Henry Rollins: The American People Kicked Your Ass, Republicans

[Look for your weekly fix from the one and only Henry Rollins right here on West Coast Sound every Thursday, and come back tomorrow for the awesomely annotated playlist for his Saturday KCRW broadcast.]

I am in Washington DC right now. The time before the winner of the presidency was announced was peppered with joyful moments. Akin gone, Mourdock done, Walsh finished, Scott Brown will be pulling Elizabeth Warren's shoe out of his ass for weeks to come. George Allen conceding in real time was better than pizza. All evening long, I had been sitting on the same couch I was four years ago when Mr. Obama won against John McCain.

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At 2315 hrs. the screen cut to Chicago and a sea of people going absolutely apeshit and suddenly, it was over. I must admit, I truly enjoyed the electoral college track up to 270 for our president. As much as I was happy that the president gets another four years, I was happier that Mitt Romney can have less opportunities to lower the bar.

I am not one to gloat nor am I one to run around yelling that I won something when an election goes my way. It is actually more a feeling of relief than anything else. I consider what could have been and think to myself that we all are better off for what happened. I noticed that underneath articles I read online where people post their sentiments, there seemed to be a foaming at the mouth jock mentality amongst those who cast their vote for Mitt Romney. "You libtards are gonna get crushed!" and other predictions occurred frequently. I wondered what they meant by that. Presumably, their man Mitt was going to create a bunch of jobs, slash the deficit and make Americans safe not only inside their own country but all over the world. I would hate to see a bunch of people getting crushed.

Perhaps they were merely going by what Mr. Romney promised to do on the first day of his administration. Presumably, on this miraculous day, the man would have been a blur of activity, where he magically took the power of the other two branches of government; the legislative and the judicial and in a few fell swoops and slashes of his mighty pen, overturned Roe v. Wade, defunded Planned Parenthood and decimated Obamacare. That would have indeed been a good bit of crushing. The irony of the amount of people who voted for Romney who would be negatively impacted by this is incredible.

But thankfully it was not to be. Enough Americans saw fit to give president Obama a second term. I don't think there will be many people keeping their Romney/Ryan bumper stickers on their cars.


I am in one hell of a position to gloat. Hey, you dumbfucks, you didn't get what you wanted. You lost, assholes. I hope he is from Kenya. Salaam alaikum, bitches. That could be me if I wanted to but believe it or not, that's not remotely where I'm coming from. However, I must say that I have never been so happy to see an American politician's career come to an end. I didn't think anyone in that dismal world could offend me more than Bush and Cheney but Romney and Ryan managed to do it. I never thought I would miss John McCain but Romney made me miss him every time I heard Romney speak.

Thinking of the fact that Mitt Romney took the biggest possible shot from the most money driven vantage point and still lost makes me think of the orifice-ripping that Al Pacino unleashed upon Kevin Spacey in the Mamet film Glengarry Glen Ross: What you are hired for, is to help us. Does that seem clear to you? To help us. Not to fuck us up! To help men who are going out there to try to earn a living, you fairy. You company man. In his business life, Romney ruined the lives of a lot of people. Had he become president, the level of damage he could have wreaked can only be imagined in a nightmare. So, no gloating for me, just relief and wonder at what my fellow Americans get into their heads.

Republicans did the best they could to keep people from voting. From sending out mail with the wrong date to cast your ballot to actually attempting to intimidate people at the polls. It didn't work. The American people kicked your ass. That has to hurt a bit. To hurl all your bully bullshit with such force only to see people stand in line for hours to vote, undeterred. Your disrespect for the Constitution and law is incredible. Congratulations, you have no credibility and on top of that, you lost. After all that money you spent in an attempt to steal an election, you still got beat. The fact that you went through all this for the sake of Mitt Romney must make it all the more humiliating.

Looking back at the line of dolts Republicans had in mind for candidates deserves mention. It's been only a few months since we had to endure the freak show of Romney, Bachmann, Cain, Paul, Gingrich, Perry and Santorum. I was astounded at the level of lunacy and idiocy at those wacky debates. I laughed my ass off. The clown car was packed and the jokes kept right on coming.


Republicans, these are your people: gay hating, vagina fearing phonies with their strange idea of rape who double down on dumb at every given opportunity. Well, at least you've got Clint Eastwood, Meatloaf and some Nascar-driving dipshits to keep you company. I know 1865 was hard to walk off but come on, y'all, stop embarrassing yourselves!

Citizens United didn't work. Hey, Koch brothers, Karl Rove, Shellgame Adelson: DEMOCRACY TRUMPS MONEY SOMETIMES.

And the whole time, the president never lost his cool.

Fuck it. I'm gloating.

Romney, there's the exit door. Proceed, governor.

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