Having A Dollar Sign In Your Name Is Awe$ome

On his blog Stuff White People Like, author Christian Lander did not include musicians with dollar signs in their names. Why? Because white people hate them!

Take Ke$ha. Now, there's a lot to dislike about the rather-coarse poplet, who seems to be encouraging seven-year-old girls to drink a handle and then cruise for men ten times their age. But the bulk of Ke$ha's criticisms somehow focus on the dollar sign in her name. Perhaps people frown on her appropriation of a cultural nomenclature trailblazed by black rappers. (Yet somehow Jay-Z's umlaut from his Reasonable Doubt days never took hold.)

But who cares? The fact is, having a $ in your moniker is amazing, and below are our top five rappers who do it. The only thing we can't understand is why The Beatles weren't The Beat£es and 50 Cent isn't 50 ¢ent.

5. A$AP Rocky

Harlem rapper A$AP Rocky recently made waves for signing a deal worth three million dollar$, supposedly. But folks should have been talking about the fact that he has an entire dollar sign crew, made up of folks with names like A$AP Ferg, A$AP Ty Beats, A$AP Dom, A$AP Twelvy, and A$AP Nast. There's only one word for this: $wag.

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4. Too $hort

Reports of his death last month were greatly exaggerated. But, more annoyingly, people got the narrative wrong. They should have focused on the fact that Too $hort is a freaking pioneer of $ticking a dollar sign in your $tinking rap name.

 

3. Curren$y

We've complained in the past about how Curren$y is annoyingly fixated on weed. But we were younger when we wrote that, and now see the error of our ways. Because dude'$ handle has an hone$t to God dollar $ign in it!

2. Ty$

Ty$ is a local guy who'$ starting to make some waves on the hippity-hop $cene$. But who cares! He ha$ a freaking dolla $ign in his nombre!

 

1. Ma$e

Everyone knows that Ma$e is arguably the greatest minister rapper ever to employ a dollar sign in his name. But who gives a $hit? Dude has a freakin' "$" $ign in his name!


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