G-Funk Week Continued: 10 Things An Alien Would Conclude About Mankind After Watching the Video For "Girls All Pause"
1. If one were ever to try to lure a human woman back to one's spaceship for a late-night probe, it is highly advisable to try to find women dancing in their g-strings and proceed to wave large bills in front of them.
2. When the gangsters come in girls will invariably pause. However, it should be noted that they may just be playing freeze tag.
3. The only thing that girls love more than $100 bills and g-strings is making out with each other in front of Nate Dogg.
4. If you are a famous R&B singer like Nate Dogg, it is possible to get 10 girls to pay you just so they can lay you. This is an astonishing feat. Either that or Nate Dogg is just Mormon. (No Mitt.)
5. Even an alien with scant knowledge of West Coast G-Funk would be shocked by the astonishing increase in the hotness of the video ho, as evidenced by Nate Dogg's "Indo Smoking" excursion a mere seven years prior.
6. Nate Dogg is "weary of hos." This is probably the result of his gigolo lifestyle that has nearly a dozen women paying him for sex. The most logical conclusion to draw is that it is best to have no more than five girls pay you just so they can lay you. Six tops.
7. The seemingly random interlude with the club owner in the middle of the video is actually a brilliant Last Year at Marienbad type touch, one meant to reflect Nate Dogg's scrambled sense of space, time and human relationships. If Nate Dogg is weary, fragmented, and disjointed, so must the cinema be.
8. Not even an alien would believe that girls all pause when Roscoe comes through the door. Even an extraterrestrial would know that Roscoe's fried chicken> Roscoe the Rapper.
9. Swap meets are great places to meet girls willing to pause.
10. Girls all say the same old thing: they just want to "gangsta' boogie. " In the end, this may be the root of Nate Dogg's self-professed"weariness." Sure, g-string clad girls dancing for hundred dollars bills and making out with each other is all good, but ultimately, for Nate, only being able to only talk about gangsta' boogying and miscellaneous affiliated boogery, is inherently limiting.
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