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Ding-Dong Electro-Song

No doubt Antonin Scalia would write another nasty dissent if he’d caught sight of the over-the-rainbow crowd — lesbians pushing strollers with Chinese baby girls, infants wearing “I Love My Gay Daddies” T-shirts, “normal” families picnicking, everyone living in Harry Potter harmony — at the HOLLYWOOD BOWL for a WIZARD OF OZ screening and sing-along. A costume parade featuring more than 200 participants, including goth and couture interpretations of all of the Oz characters, kicked off the festivities. The highlight: two people dressed as the crabby apple trees, who pummeled the audience and drag queen MOMMA — onstage dressed as the biggest Dorothy you’ve ever seen — with fresh apples. Reba’s MELISSA PETERMAN hosted the eve, and she’s evidently spent time in front of a crowd of screaming queens before — she just had too much fun asking the audience to bark like a dog whenever Toto appeared onscreen. Singing along and deflecting fruit of all kinds were VINCE VAUGHN, BRENDAN FRASER, TERI HATCHER and Judy Garland spawn LORNA LUFT. The following night at the Bowl saw an entirely different kind of costume parade at KCRW’s WORLD FESTIVAL hosted by JASON BENTLEY. Asian-infused world-beat clubwear was the look to be sporting to dance in the aisles — think Bodhi Tree meets Hot Topic. The night was a first for the Bowl, a turntablist — PAUL OAKENFOLD — headlining, along with artists such as KARSH KALE, DONG SUK KIM and GRANT LEE PHILLIPS. There hasn’t been such a radical shift in programming since the Beatles played there in 1964. Groovin’ to the fusion were Dakah Hip-Hop Orchestra’s DOUBLE-G, actress ANN MAGNUSON, architect JOHN BERTRAM, artist ANDREW CAMPBELL, Grand Performances programming director LEIGH ANN HAHN, filmmaker MATTHEW AMATO, club legends TRALALA and HENRY PECK, and Eastside Studios’ JOHNNY TELLEZ.

—Marcus Kuiland-Nazario

RAISING THE BARRE

The opening gala for the JOFFREY BALLET’s three-night stand at the DOROTHY CHANDLER PAVILION offered a clear view into the perplexity with which Angelenos approach dressing to go out. Milling about the grand foyer was a crowd whose overall appearance vibrated with sartorial uncertainty — casual L.A., off-the-rack evening, hoochie wear. One tubby matron donned tight, black tulle lined with nude-illusion fabric. Most distressing. Those who got it right did so in the demure, moneyed way of Orange County —where most of the good dance companies go to perform these days — it was with a dash of Hollywood oomph. It’s tough to beat the sight of Joe Millionaire EVAN MARRIOTT, in a well-fit tux (his?), entertaining not the petitions of hand-selected young women but the attentions of a full circle of well-heeled old ladies. Nearby, MR. BLACKWELL, who certainly would have had something to say about the turnout, enjoyed photo ops with all comers, while, decked out in beaded cornflower chiffon, JANE SEYMOUR, with husband JAMES KEACH, bestowed air kisses to a blond gal-pal in graphic-print Ralph Lauren satin topped by pearls the size of eyeballs. SHERRY LANSING was no-nonsense in a smart, white, tailored pantsuit, while the ageless DINA MERRILL looked serenely regal in an aqua version. Presiding over it all, Joffrey patron LEE IACOCCA, whose engagement to one PATRICIA KENNEDY was announced prior to the curtain, stood satisfied in subdued but unimpeachable black tie, proving that real power is anonymous, even when it isn’t.

—Hazel-Dawn Dumpert

SWERVES AND CURVES

Although you can’t put your finger on exactly why, something magic happens when you mix Mexican wrestlers, burlesque and booze, as LUCHA VA VOOM 3 proved once again at the MAYAN THEATER. While ELVIO REYES pounded LUCIFER, commentators PATTON OSWALT and BLAINE CAPATCH cheered: “This is what America is all about! This is what we’re fighting for!” A couple of drunks put a bump in URSULINA’s grind after they stumbled onstage, interrupting her routine with DIONESIA in which they portray Priscilla Presley and Elvis girlfriend Linda Thompson. But Ursulina (a.k.a. Lucha Va Voom producer RITA D’ALBERT) couldn’t stay down for long, especially when actress PAGET BREWSTER told her, “What a great goddamn show.” Brewster proudly admitted she was moonlighting as a photographer “for the free pass.” Backstage, various va-voomers huddled around the monitor to watch FRIDA KULO, complete with unibrow, shake off her top for the Bettie Paige look-alikes and the skinny dudes who love ’em as well as artist THE PIZZ, DJ PRICKLE, and Beat the Geeks’ PAUL GOEBEL. Oswalt gave the eve a political charge when he announced, “The American flag is brought to you by Halliburton and Bechtel,” as ring girl (and Weekly contributor) PLEASANT GEHMAN hung the Stars and Stripes over the ropes. Wrestlers PARKITO and ESPECTRITO got big applause for duking it out, but the star of the evening was HIJO DEL SANTO. “Look out, hipsters and industry cocksuckers,” warned Capatch, as the blanca-clad, second-generation brawler tossed BLUE PANTHER into the ringside crowd, who got a workout of their own dodging hundreds of pounds of sweaty wrestler. Hey, it’s better than those spinning classes.

—Christopher Lisotta


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