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Bone Thugs-n-Harmony's "Thuggish Ruggish Bone": Why This Song Sucks

[Editor's note: Why This Song Sucks determines why particular tracks blow using science. It appears on West Coast Sound every Wednesday.]

Song: Bone Thugs-n-Harmony's "Thuggish Ruggish Bone"

History: "Thuggish Ruggish Bone" was Bone Thugs' 1994 breakout single. It's one of the most pioneering, inspired, zeitgeist-shifting rap songs of the '90s. And it is complete gibberish.

Atmospherics: Synthesized fury; teeny, tiny, elongated digitized tinks.

Scientific Analysis: "Thuggish Ruggish Bone" has baffled the scientific community for years. Why? Because it is rife with existential conundrums. The most pressing:

While there is a working definition for "thuggish" (ie "possessing qualities similar to, though not exactly like, a thug") WHAT THE FUCK IS A RUGGISH?

Bone Thugs-n-Harmony's "Thuggish Ruggish Bone": Why This Song Sucks

Is it a name given by oceanographers to a rarely-seen bizarro fish that exists near the mid-ocean ridge? Not sure, but I do know that my neighbor Teresa, otherwise known as Legacy, one of the city's more homely exotic dancers, said she couldn't describe it exactly, but she'd show me for $60.

But, actually, the "ruggish" question is the least of our worries. What the hell is anyone saying the rest of the time? This lyric is listed, on lyric sites, as the song's first:

You're feeling the strength of the rump.

The rump, bro. THE RUMP.

Bone Thugs-n-Harmony's "Thuggish Ruggish Bone": Why This Song Sucks

What's more, LL Cool J plays into all of this. To wit: At the end of the song, singer Shatasha Williams sings, "We got Layzie and we got Krayzie. Bizzy's in the house. Wish is in the house. And Flesh. And Tasha. Cleveland's definitely in the house."

Thus, being "in the house" was an exclusive and trendy thing.

Bone Thugs-n-Harmony's "Thuggish Ruggish Bone": Why This Song Sucks

But then a year later, in 1995, NBC created a TV show staring LL Cool J called In The House. The entire "in the house" paradigm was altered.

Bone Thugs-n-Harmony's "Thuggish Ruggish Bone": Why This Song Sucks

Conclusions:

(I) A ruggish might be a fish, but it might also be a sex move.

(II) Rumps can possess amazing strength.

(III) It is fucking IMPOSSIBLE to find a picture of In The House anywhere on the Internet.


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