A Brief History of the Blowjob in Pop Music

Flo Rida
Flo Rida

Currently dominating charts, Flo Rida's "Whistle" recycles the wholesome Disney chorus "whistle while you work" as a blowjob instructional. Like many before him, Flo Rida enjoys receiving oral sex, and like almost as many, he has turned the practice into a popular song. Over the years, tracks discussing the "beej" have been performed in every era of pop. Chuck Berry was singing about his dick all the way back in 1972, and, while it's only gotten more misogynist from there, there's no denying that bjs are a huge and, dare we say, important part of popular music history. And so without further ado behold our brief, incomplete history of blowjobs in music.

1974

Leonard Cohen - "Chelsea Hotel #2"

There are surely older songs about fellatio, but this is the earliest, most concrete example. Like the good plainspoken folk singer he is, Leonard Cohen starts the song with "I remember you well in the Chelsea Hotel /you were talking so brave and sweet /giving me head on the unmade bed /while the limousines wait in the street." "Chelsea Hotel #2" is certainly not just about blowjobs, but the subject is right there in your face. Bwahahaha.

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1980

Prince & The Revolution - "Head"

In which our hero encounters a bride on the way to her wedding, who is so taken aback by the glamour of Prince's presence that she decides to abandon her wedding plans and go down on him right there. "I think you like to go down / you wouldn't have stopped / but I came on your wedding gown." Unlike most songs about BJs, this one is almost entirely euphemism-free.

1980

AC/DC - "Giving the Dog a Bone"

Lots of metaphors going on here, what with the dogs and bones and, well, "she blowin' me crazy til my ammunition is dry." Not sure we'd be up for getting one of those "crazy" blowjobs.

1981

Def Leppard - "Let It Go"

It's still unclear to us why Def Leppard wants some sugar poured on them, but the lyrics from "Let It Go" are more clear: "Slow down, hold on /you're too fast, you're too strong /take it easy, take it slow /make it last, don't let it go." Easy tiger!

1984

Judas Priest - "Eat Me Alive"

Before coming out of the closet, Judas Priest lead singer Rob Halford was penning some quite raunchy, one might say "fetishistic" lyrics. "I'm going to force you at gun point /eat me alive," he sings on "Eat Me Alive." How romantic!

1990

NWA - "Just Don't Bite It"

"Just Don't Bite It" was written by MC Ren, and is found on the NWA EP 100 Miles and Runnin'. It suggests that gentlemen interested in first-rate fellatio purchase their ladies a new book called "The Art of Sucking Dick." (It was written by NWA themselves, which is a bit gay.) The best part of the song is where Ren says his dick is harder than a totem pole.

1992

Peter Gabriel - "Kiss That Frog"

Yes, there was a time when we were letting Peter Gabriel write songs about blowjobs. Still, "Kiss That Frog" is a bit much. "He's all puffed up /wanna be your king /oh you can do it /c'mon lady kiss that frog." It's important to remember two things about blowjob songs: 1) Don't talk about your dick in the third person and 2) Don't use a frog as a dick metaphor.

2003

Kelis - "Milkshake"

We'll never know for sure if Kelis means fellatio when she talks about her titular milkshake, but it seems quite likely. We can all be glad to know that "Damn right it's better than yours /I can teach you, but I'd have to charge" is still quoted in middle schools across the country.

 

2005

50 Cent - "Candy Shop"

Who knew 50 Cent's genitals were as sweet as a lollipop? "Go on girl don't you stop /keep going til you hit the spot" is maybe a Tootsie Pop reference, and a much better one than the commercial where the owl gets tired of licking and bites down. "A One... A two-HOO... A tha-ree..."

2006

Cassie - "Me & U"

In this case a dude named Ryan Leslie wrote a song about liking oral sex, and then female R&B singer Cassie made a big hit about it. It's a bit vague, that is, until you get to the "baby I'll love you all the way down /get it where you like it" part.

2008

Lil Wayne - "Lollipop"

Believe it or not, Lil Wayne didn't really have a true, bona fide mainstream pop solo hit until "Lollipop," which was basically "Candy Shop" with a better beat. The line about how he lets her "lick the wrapper" doesn't make much sense (because who would want to lick a wrapper) until you realize he means "lick the rapper"!

2012

Flo Rida - "Whistle"

You've come a long way, fellas! And while "Whistle" might not be your thing, as long as teenagers are grinding to songs about blowjobs at school-sanctioned dances, we can know definitively that the terrorists haven't won.

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