Ansel Elgort plays philosophy-obsessed outsider Addison Schacht, a kid who smart-assedly writes his 22-page college application essay on the topic of how he possesses no good qualities. He mentions that the college provided only a 3½-inch space to write that essay, so it’s clear that brevity numbers among those desirable qualities he lacks. Addison does not possess the desirable quality of brevity. Addison’s friend gets shot to death in a coffee shop. Then Addison somehow falls into dealing drugs as he tries to solve his friend’s murder — but only half-assedly.
What follows is something like Veronica Mars, only set in snowy D.C. and on heavy sedatives. Is November Criminals about Addison’s recently deceased mother? His leaving for college? His friend’s murder? It never focuses on any one of these storylines, which all become tiresome, but none more so than Addison’s fruitless quest to prove his dead friend Kevin (Jared Kemp) wasn’t a drug dealer, as the D.C. cops say he is.
Gervasi sets us up for some intrigue, where Addison is the only person in the whole crazy world who stands up to the cops for immediately thinking that Kevin — who is black — would be a drug dealer in a gang. That’s a compelling, if not white-savior–y, premise; only we find out that Kevin actually was in a gang and was dealing drugs. Oh. Take that, opponents of racial profiling.