LA Weekly

Were you a fashion victim in ’07? If you wore more than three of the items below, the answer is yes. And while a few of these looks were hot before this year (and many are sure to continue into next), you can rest assured they’ll all wear thin soon enough — that is, until they’re regurgitated again (and again) as retro. Which was exactly the case with many of the items below to begin with. Work ’em for as long as you can, kiddies...

1. Wayfaring Strangers

The big Jackie O sunglasses look of the past few years was — mercifully for some tastes — replaced this year with a more compact but no less old-school eyewear style: the Rayban Wayfarer. Risky Business black made for suitable, if smaller, shielding from pesky paparazzi for formerly bug-eyed babes like Nicole Richie and the Olson twins. But it was mismatched 20-somethings unwittingly paying homage to Cory Hart in the clubs with multicolored Raybans and faux versions from downtown who really made the ’50s-cum-’80s spectacles a staple. Runner-up: Kanye West shutter shades, whose popularity suggests more ugly, wacky eyewear to come. Le Var Burton Star Trek shades, anyone?

2. Hoopla

Humongous door-knocker earrings and heart-shaped megahoops have been hip-hop femme faves for well over a decade (as seen in any Salt -N-Pepa video on YouTube). But it took a biting Brit and a blue-eyed Cali chica to modernize ’em for mall rats and trendoids. Both Fergie and Lily Allen did the giant-gold-earring thing in ’07, and droves of divas who used to wear Tiffany toggles and glam gals looking for a little street style followed. Unfortunately, jumping on the Mr. T train like Fergalicous has left many girlies with stretched-out lobes, and these lady lumps ain’t so lovely.

3. Now Scram

Forget about bling; when it came to rocking real wild stilo, nothing topped the alcohol-monitoring anklet. Eve and Lindsay Lo boldly worked ’em into their outfits, LL pairing hers with a bikini and gold sandals for a beach-party photo op, and E with look-at-me leopard-print YSL stilettos at a car-show event we attended at the L.A. Convention Center. Other Scram-ers, like Tracy Morgan and Michelle Rodriguez, were a bit more subtle, but they definitely didn’t hide ’em. And you just know if Paris Hilton had been allowed to leave jail and wear one, her device would have been bedazzled, foshizzle.

4. In the Hood

Great moments in hoodiedom: Rocky Balboa, Eminem, Star Wars’ Jawas, the Unabomber (well, that one wasn’t so great). Yes, the hooded sweatshirt has been around forever, but when trendy lines like Dim Mak and, soon after, teenybopper catalogs like Delia’s started emblazoning them with gaudy patterns and prints, it was like a New Wave album cover threw up all over the formerly boring sportswear staple. The hoodie is practical — after all, it keeps the head warm when you need it to and hangs behind when you don’t — but when we started seeing ’em worn (full-on with head part on) at clubs like Cinespace and the Echo, it officially became annoying, especially last summer when it was 95 degrees outside and in.

5. Dressy Bessies

Big and billowy or down-to-the-floor flowy, the dress was everywhere this year. And while the lack of skin-baring might have been a drag for dudes fond of the micromini skank look, ladies were lovin’ the comfort factor. The maxi dress — à la ’70s-era Cher — made for nightgownlike ease (and a fairly safe way to go commando), while roomy tent dresses meant you could pig out and not have to suck in your belly. The only problem: questions about your due date.

6. Hear Them Roar

As was fiercely apparent the day Roberto Cavalli for H&M’s feline-inspired line went on sale a few months ago, leopard-lovin’ ladies are a fervent, even fanatical bunch. The gilded glamwear, much of it leo-printed, sold out in minutes at the Beverly Center and Sunset Strip locations. Thankfully, there was plenty more for pussycats to pounce on — from pricey designer stuff (D&G, L.A.M.B.) to more moderate lines (Betsey Johnson, Petro Zillia) and, best of all, vintage stuff. Rockabilly babes, plucky punkettes or foxy fashionistas who collect it all know that older is better, and shops like Golyester, Wasteland and Polkadots and Moonbeams were great places to see spots.

7. Bummed Out

Ultra low-rise is long gone, skinny was really only for minnies, and high-waisted was a little too close to “mom jeans.” So what was a denim-loving dame to do? Change the focus. In ’07 it was less about the rise or the legs, and all about the butt. Jordache attempted a comeback, Frankie B brought back Dittos, and all the pricey lines embellished our buns with extra stitching, pockets, and even padding. Looking curvy in jeans was not only okay, it was hot. In the immortal words of Sir Mix-a-Lot, “notice that butt was stuffed/deep in the jeans she’s wearing/I’m hooked and I can’t stop staring.”

8.Bag Ladies

Clutches became more popular than ever, especially after dark, but balancing a cocktail and a tiny strapless handbag on the dance floor? Not our bag. For those of us who like to carry our entire lives with us wherever we go, the ginormous purse trend was a gift, especially on chilly nights when our sweaters fit roomily inside. Of course, sometimes our big bag got us bumped around at crowded clubs. But we sure had a great weapon to get ’em back with.

9. Back to Black

Dark as night nail polish officially went mainstream, with everyone from soap stars to grandmothers — okay, mothers — sporting what used to be considered goth claws. Even more ubiquitous than darkly dipped fingertips? Jet legs. Whether worn with flats, sandals or boots, black tights looked right. They brought summer dresses into fall, turned slips and babydolls into clubwear and made shorts seem not-hoochie. Tights’ more casual sister, the legging, was — and is — alive and kicking too.

10. With the Band

The worst trend of the ’60s (and the ’80s) reared its ugly head again a few years ago, and it definitely stayed in the forehead foreground in ’07. The headband. Richard Simmons’ terry-cloth and scarf-ish Karate Kid–style wraps did kind of dwindle, literally, with hipsters going more hippie by wrapping thin cords, strings, even necklaces around their noggins, but we hope this love-in look goes the way of tie-dye, along with the suede-fringed vest, once and for all next year.