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Tofu, Smut and “dunt dunnnt, dunt dunnt”

FRIDAY, AUGUST 12What movie snacks go with art films at the drive-in? NewTown, the artist consortium that presents art in nonboring ways, continues its Reels on Wheels 5: Screening California: Whose/Who’s California, Part 2 series, an annoyingly titled two-night event with screenings of short films featuring such artists as Paul McCarthy, Ed Moses, Chris Burden, Sandow Birk, Paul Zaloom, Marnie Weber, Robert Graham, Ed Ruscha and Susan Braig. You get to make pretentious, arty comments without leaving the car! Which brings up the question: If an art snob poo-poos an artist and nobody hears it, can a gallery owner raise his commission? Also, if you drive anything bigger than a Camry, kindly park in the rear. Rose Bowl, Parking Lot I, Pasadena; Fri.-Sat., Aug. 12-13, 8 p.m.; $5 per car. (626) 398-9278.Jason Bitner and Davy Rothbart, the two litter-ature scavengers behind Found Magazine — the journal of tossed-off beautiful/funny/sad missives — get loads of submissions they prefer not to include: photos of people’s private parts, dirty doodles and inelegant smutty prose. They’ve assembled a whole bunch of it for Dirty Found, an adult-only PowerPoint presentation that should tell you more about your fellow human beings than you may want to know. Steve Allen Theater, 4773 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood; Fri., Aug. 12, 8 & 10 p.m.; $12 (includes magazine). www.dirtyfound.com. SATURDAY, AUGUST 13 It’s the kickoff of Nisei Week, and that means Little Tokyo will swell like a sumo belly full of dumplings: anime festival, Ribbits & Rhythms for the kiddies, car show, coronation ball, 5K run/walk, sumo tournament, and the grand parade, concert and taiko gathering. Most everything’s free. And in conjunction is the Tofu Festival, with this year’s hopeful theme “Tofuzilla: When Giant Tofu Takes Over Little Tokyo.” You can try tofu variations from more than 40 vendors, all of which attempt to hide the fact that the stuff is still just jiggly and tasteless. Gerald Albright plays Saturday, and Ozomatli plays Sunday. Little Tokyo, downtown. For complete schedules: www.niseiweek.org and www.tofufestival.com. A perfect summer combo: Hit your beach of choice early in the day. Swim out as far as you feel comfortable by yourself. Then go out just a bit more. A little more. A little more. There. Now float on your back making those soundtrack noises from Jaws. Then, still in your bathing suit and sandy feet, head to the Aero Theater for a new 35 mm print of Jaws. Then go to Santa Monica Seafood and pick up a nice shark steak for the barbecue. Aero Theater, 1328 Montana Ave., Santa Monica; Sat., Aug. 13, 7:30 p.m.; $9. (323) 466-FILM. Santa Monica Seafood, 1205 Colorado Ave., Santa Monica. (310) 393-5244. SUNDAY, AUGUST 14 There’s a semi-new movement made up of people crazy for “urban vinyl toys,” collectible limited-edition toys from Japan, Hong Kong, Europe and even the U.S. Leave the kids at home for QEEology: Urban Art Designer Toy Collectible Show & Sale. Pasadena Conference Center, Room C211, 300 E. Green St., Pasadena; Sun., Aug. 14, 11 a.m.-4 p.m.; free. www.qeeology.com. MONDAY, AUGUST 15Once a band gets featured in The New Yorker, you’d figure everything’s been said already. And no doubt you can read about them more intelligently elsewhere in the very paper you’re holding, but we just have to say this about The White Stripes’ Jack White. When you sing, why do you always sound like you’re about to cry? Please, if you need to unload anything, you know where to reach us. We’re good at consoling. The Greek Theater, 2700 N. Vermont Ave., Griffith Park; Mon.-Thurs., Aug. 15-18, 7:30 p.m. (213) 480-3232.TUESDAY, AUGUST 16Why is all the free outdoor fun in Santa Monica, a destination most of us can’t even get to after work in a manner timely enough to enjoy? Is it just the beach town’s way of rubbing into our faces the fact that no one can afford to live there? Sure, we’d love to come to Free Films at the Pier for a free outdoor screening of The Sting, a superb movie no one’s seen in more than 10 years. And we’d love to ride the carousel that’s featured in the film, and think how great it is to be in Santa Monica on a Tuesday evening. But we’d never make it on time, and the difficulty of parking would just increase our bitterness. Part of the series for Santa Monicans who live within walking distance of the pier. Santa Monica Pier, end of Colorado Blvd.; Tues., Aug. 16, no one will tell us what time; free tickets must be picked up at the Santa Monica visitor center. WE CAN TAKE THE HINT, SANTA MONICA!!WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 17Lawrin & Joe’s Sketchy Weekends are not only acclaimed sketch-comedy affairs, they also don’t always happen on the weekends. Case in point: The Restless Bandits, a new group of young sketchers debuting this week. Head Bandit Benjamin Friedman thinks of his troupe’s comedy as “not stupid humor. We’re raw, daring, push limits, you know,” he states rawly. Sketches deal with things like suicide, ugly babies and old people jump-roping. And what about the ones that don’t get a laugh? “That doesn’t happen,” he responds. How daring can you get? Crowd faves Troop! perform at 8 p.m. McCadden Place Theater, 1157 N. McCadden Pl., Hollywood; Wed. and Fri., Aug. 17 and 19, 9 p.m.; (323) 463-2942.THURSDAY, AUGUST 18A self-described “half-Israeli and half–New York Jew,” Periel Aschenbrand, founder of Body as Billboard, reads and signs The Only Bush I Trust Is My Own. Here’s a New York chick whose Manhattan attitude comes across as an angry Rhoda Morgenstern. She has the tubes to put herself on the cover clad only in her own long tresses and large leaf, with a look on her face that says, “So buy the fuckin’ book already.” It’s pretty funny, too. Barnes & Noble, 1201 Third Street Promenade, Santa Monica; Thurs., Aug. 18, 7:30 p.m.; free. (310) 260-9110.


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