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The Worst Hoopla Ever!

John Kelly did not pave paradise, but he will collect the parking-lot fee. See Tuesday.

FRIDAY, January 2

George Clinton is still alive (hint, hint). James Brown and Rick James? Not so much. A George Clinton & Funkadelic live show will renew your faith in funk. And you can all chant “We lost our house, lost our house” during “We Want the Funk” and go home feeling better about your miserable — I mean wonderful — lives. Not a bad way to start the New Year. Club Nokia, 800 W. Olympic Blvd., downtown; $21.50-$51.50; Fri., Jan. 2, 7 p.m. (213) 480-3232.

SATURDAY, January 3

Big things are in store this year for lovable curmudgeon (not always, but sometimes) Patton Oswalt. According to his blog, Big Fan, a low-budget indie film he stars in will compete at Sundance this year. It’s called Big Fan, which he describes as “the best movie and biggest mistake I’ve ever made.” In the meantime, he’s once again hosting a screening of another little indie calledThe Snake, described as “the funniest movie about dating a bulimic.” Mr. Oswalt really likes the film, and that’s an endorsement you can trust. Upright Citizens Brigade, 5919 Franklin Ave., Hollywood; Sat., Jan. 3, 6 p.m.; $5, (323) 908-8702.

SUNDAY, January 4

Today’s the last day for the most star-studded show in town. (And hey, if Howard Stern and most teevee shows can have reruns, why can’t an award-winning events column?) We live in Celebrityland, so we get productions of A Christmas Carol we deserve — with loads of familiar names. John Goodman, Jane Leeves, Jane Seymour, Christopher Lloyd (as Ebenezer Scrooge!) and — !!!!! — Gene Wilder appear in 16 performances of the Charles Dickens classic. Call your relatives in those other states to brag about it. Kodak Theatre, Hollywood Blvd. & Highland Ave., Hollywood; Jan. 4; $28-$79.50. (213) 480-3232.

MONDAY, January 5

Still have holiday guests? Or are you just itching to hit Tinseltown? Then, sorry, ’cause there is jack-all happening in this so-called city this week. However, your best bet is the always, or at least mostly, hilarious Armando Show, where the host might be somebody big (Frangela was a few weeks ago), and the regular crew of improvisers bring their A-game to the little stage. I.O. West, 6366 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood; Mon., Jan. 5, 9 p.m.; $10. (323) 962-7560.

TUESDAY, January 6

Before you read the following blurb, go to YouTube (do I really have to explain how to do that?) and search for “John Kelly Joni Mitchell.” Watch his truly beguiling performance of “Blue.” Done? Wow, right? Amazing. Paved Paradise: Redux — The Songs of Joni Mitchell is a show for every lover of Mitchell’s transcendent lyrics and enchanting voice. The guy doesn’t come to town often — I think it’s been at least several years — so act accordingly. The Hammer Museum, 10899 Wilshire Blvd., Westwood; Tues., Jan. 6, 8 p.m.; free. (310) 443-7000.

WEDNESDAY, January 7

Just a few highlights from American Cinematheque’s Focus on Female Directors Shorts Program: Kirsten Dunst’s “Welcome,” starring Winona Ryder; Isabella Rossellini’s “Green Porno” on the sex life of bugs; Amy Axelson and Kimberly M. Wetyherell’s “Why We Wax.” Egyptian Theatre, 6712 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood; Wed., Jan. 7, 7:30 p.m.; $10. (323) 466-FILM.

THURSDAY, January 8

This week’s cut-and-paste special is Make ’Em Laugh: The Funny Business of America: “Writers Bloc presents a tribute to the upcoming PBS series, Make ’Em Laugh on the history and state of American Comedy” [that’s right, they uppercase it — good for them]. With director Michael Kantor and writer Larry Maslon, respectively of the three-part series, and authors of the companion book, and featuring comedians Larry Wilmore (The Daily Show) and Richard Belzer. Temple Emanuel, 300 N. Clark Dr., Beverly Hills; Thurs., Jan. 8, 7:30 p.m.; $20; reservations@writersblocpresents.com.