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The Dog Days of Spring

For the love of dog, stop staring at me! See Sunday.

{mosimage}FRIDAY, April 6

Call the American Cinematheque box office and ask, “Who’s on first?” The answer you get might be Pride of the Yankees, Field of Dreams, The Natural, The Bingo Long Traveling All-Stars & Motor Kings, Eight Men Out, The Sandlot or The Bad News Bears. To celebrate the return of baseball season, we have Let’s Play Two: A Baseball Celebration. The only problem is, how do you eat popcorn with your mitt? Aero Theater, 1328 Montana Ave., Santa Monica; Thurs.-Sun., April 5-8; $10. (323) 466-FILM.

“The Effect of Climate Change on Biodiversity” — a.k.a. “PARTY!!!!!” Last week, we discussed how global warming is going to affect me and those other women born in the early ’60s as we face menopause under a sun hitting us with at least 20 more degrees than it did Hillary Clinton and yo mama. This week, we look to the Natural History Museum for its monthly First Fridays program, which explores Southern California 100 years from now (pity those middle-aged women!). Ornithology Collections manager Kimball Garrett leads a tour through Ralph W. Schreiber Bird Hall, followed by a discussion by Margaret Wertheim, Michelle Wyman Pawar and Hope Tschopik-Schneider. Then music takes over, thanks to the electronic duo Plaid and the Submarines. The First Floor Galleries of the Natural History Museum of Los Angeles, 900 Exposition Blvd., L.A.; Fri., April 6, 5-10 p.m.; $9. (213) 763-DINO or performances@nhm.org.

SATURDAY, April 7

Attention, hip people: The following event is not ironic, or even “ironic.” It is not put on so that you can bring your Chihuahua named Molly, whom you got as replacement therapy for your parental urges (see Sunday for that). The 77th Annual Blessing of the Animals is a centuries-old tradition of asking for an animal’s fertility and health. Cardinal Roger M. Mahony blesses each and every dog, cat, snake, iguana, cow, pig, tortoise, gerbil... El Pueblo Historical Monument, Olvera Street, dwntwn.; Sat., April 7, noon-5 p.m.; procession at 2 p.m. (213) 625-7074.

SUNDAY, April 8

Happy Easter, if that’s your thing. Whether or not you believe in the E-Bunny, we can all enjoy dogs in ridiculous bonnets, rabbit ears and other goofy getups at The Seventh Annual Haute Dog Easter Parade. There will be dogs on floats (think children’s wagons) and even humans getting into the game. It’s a benefit for Operation Santa Paws and environmental and youth causes. Livingston Park, Livingston Dr. & Park Ave., Long Beach; Sun., April 8, 2:30 p.m.; free to watch, $10 per dog. (562) 439-3316 or www.hautedogs.org.

Mary Lynn Rajskub — it’s pronounced “rice kebab” — has a new one-woman show that she’s calling The Complications of Purchasing a Poodle Pillow. Steve Allen Theater at the Center for Inquiry–West, 4773 Hollywood Blvd., Los Feliz; Sun., April 10, 8 p.m.; thru April; $10. (800) 595-4TIX.

MONDAY, April 9

When unfunny people can’t figure out how to explain some phenomenon, they will sometimes quip (unfunnily), “There must be something in the water at (fill in the blank).” Well, I’m here to (unfunnily) tell you that there must be something in the water at the Groundlings’ headquarters, because they keep churning out comic talent. And their esteemed alumni are not afraid to brag about themselves either. The Groundlings Theater Lecture Series continues with Cheryl Hines of Curb Your Enthusiasm, who will improvise an entire speech as an actress who’s made a career out of looking appalled while smiling. The Groundlings Theater, 7307 Melrose Ave., Hlywd.; Mon., April 9, 8 p.m.; $15. (323) 934-4747, Ext. 37.

TUESDAY, April 10

“Hugh-Hefner-wannabe hosts, with a cable-access ‘swinging’ show. In all its pathetic glory,” reads the invitation to Mark Fite and Jim Turner's spoof The Girly Magazine Party. A spoof of cable-access shows? Is that even possible? These guys are nothing if not ambitious. Steve Allen Theater at the Center for Inquiry–West, 4773 Hollywood Blvd., Los Feliz; Tues., April 10, 8 p.m.; $10. (800) 595-4TIX.

WEDNESDAY, April 11

Jonathan Lethem, best known for the one book of his I have read (and loved), Fortress of Solitude, as well as many other books, comes to town to promote You Don’t Love Me Yet: A Novel, which the Brooklynite has the lit-balls to set in hipster L.A. Skylight Books, 1818 N. Vermont Ave., Los Feliz; Wed., April 11, 7:30 p.m.; free (the book is $24.95, plus tax). (323) 660-1175.

THURSDAY, April 12

Fighting Words— “a love story set in the world of L.A. slam poetry.” Sounds kinda terrible, but the ad slogan is intriguing: “You only get 10 seconds.” And, hell, it’s got C. Thomas Howell and loads of local poets, possibly including yourself. Mann Beverly Center 13, 8522 Beverly Blvd., L.A.; Fri.-Thurs., April 6-12; call for schedule. (310) 652-7760.


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