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I'm With Cupid

My name is Lucha. See Tuesday.

FRIDAY, February 10

Albert Brooks has made some hugely funny movies — ones not usually described as “bland, formless pudding” or having just “a few faint chortles,” words used to describe his latest, Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World (nice work, Ella Taylor of the L.A. Weekly). The Museum of Television & Radio — the most important museum in the world — comes to our rescue with From Albert Brooks to the TV Funhouse: Selected Short Films From Saturday Night Live, which features several of the short films Brooks contributed to early episodes of the show. Also included in the program are shorts by Robert Altman, Andy Warhol, Robert Smigel and Christopher Guest. The Museum of Television & Radio, 465 N. Beverly Dr., Beverly Hills; Wed.-Sun., noon-5 p.m.; free (yes, free). (310) 786-1000.

SATURDAY, February 11

Valentine’s Day is approaching fast. There’s still time for a crash course in “boudoir seduction,” led by none other than our pal and valedictorian vixen Princess Farhana — a belly-dancing sensation and the one responsible for making Margaret Cho hot (though, unfortunately, not funny anymore, as witnessed in her latest film, Assassin). This Farhana chick (Pleasant Gehman) is a living, breathing example of the kinda gal who makes cartoon characters’ eyes bulge out like balloons. Just trust us, she’s got the goods, and the Velvet Hammer credits, to make her fully qualified to offer a workshop in Burlesque Basics, where she’ll teach you how to “strut like a showgirl and to tease à la Gypsy Rose Lee.” Studio With No Name, 2522 Sunset Blvd., Silverlake; Sat., Feb. 11, 1-2:30 p.m.; $25, $30 at the door. (323) 460-4890.

SUNDAY, February 12

Animal lust can’t be taught — or can it? The Greater Los Angeles Zoo Association presents Woo at the Zoo: Sexy Beast. Animal educator and actress Joleen Lutz presents a funny yet factual peek at the bestial side of the animal kingdom. Of course, it’s for adults only, and your ticket price helps support GLAZA’s animal-adoption program. No word on whether the warty pigs will be taking part. L.A. Zoo, 5333 Zoo Dr., Griffith Park; Sun., Feb. 12, 1:30 p.m.; $75, $125 per couple. (323) 644-6042.

For those of you offended by the previous item, try Something to Crow About! with the Bob Baker Marionettes enjoying “a day on the farm,” featuring Mama and Papa Goat, and tap-dancing bullfrogs — and nobody shtups anybody! The Bob Baker Marionette Theater, 1345 W. First St.; Sat.-Sun., 2:30 p.m.; Tues.-Fri., 10:30 a.m., thru June 25; $12, $10 seniors. (213) 250-9995.

MONDAY, February 13

“Reel Talk” with Stephen Farber offers the opportunity to see and discuss films before they are released. Plus, it’s on a Monday night, so what else is there to do? This week’s film is Freedomland, a drama starring Samuel L. Jackson, Julianne Moore and Edie Falco. The guest speaker will be the film’s editor, Nick Moore (the publicist tells us everyone else will be at the New York premiere that same night). Wadsworth Theater, Veterans Administration grounds, 11301 Wilshire Blvd., West L.A.; Mon., Feb. 13, 7 p.m.; $19. (213) 365-3500.

TUESDAY, February 14

Lucha Va Voom presents Love, Mexican Style, which, for sheer thrust action, may be your most romantical (to quote Monsters, Inc.’s Mike Wazowski) VD option. A commemorative photo booth offers the chance for a picture of you with Blaine Capatch, Tom Kenny, Dana Gould or Patton Oswalt. Scantily clad hotties will be writhing all over the place and crazed, masked wrestlers will rule the ring with names like Blue Demon Jr. and Super Porky. Not a good option if you’re allergic to boa feathers, though. The Mayan Theater, 1038 S. Hill St., dwntwn.; Tues.-Thurs., Feb. 14-16, 8 p.m.; $30, $25 in advance; $50 ringside, $40 in advance. www.luchavavoom.com.

Relationship woes on Valentine’s Day? Want to hear the most pathetic breakup story ever? It’s 1978, and this is how my boyfriend tells me he’s dumping me: He calls and says, “Play the last song on side one of Boz Scaggs’ Silk Degrees” (an album we both loved). The track? “It’s Over.” You may remember the chorus: “Why can’t you just get it through your head? It’s over, it’s over now.” Ouch. Surely Julia Sweeney, Laura Kightlinger and Un-Cabaret host Beth Lapides will have some heartfelt thoughts on love and thoughtless assholes. M-Bar, 1253 N. Vine St., Hollywood; Tues., Feb. 14, 8 p.m.; $15. (323) 993-3305.

WEDNESDAY, February 15

Eve Light Honthaner presents and signs Hollywood Drive: What It Takes to Break in, Hang in and Make It in the Entertainment Industry. If this column doesn’t appear next week, you’ll know what happened to me. Book Soup, 8818 Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood; Wed., Feb. 15, 7 p.m.; free. (310) 659-3110.

THURSDAY, February 16

Comedy god Carl “Alan Brady” Reiner — he brought us The Dick Van Dyke Show, some of the funniest Steve Martin movies and, indirectly, This Is Spinal Tap — reads from and discusses his latest novel, NNNN. Skirball Cultural Center, 2701 N. Sepulveda Blvd.; Thurs., Feb. 16, 7:30 p.m.; $20, resv. required. (310) 440-4500.?


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