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From Venus to Venice

''Herps dig me.'' See Saturday.

FRIDAY, September 22

It’s Jimmy Kimmel’s world — we just stand in line for zeppole in it. Okay, so maybe Highland Avenue isn’t exactly Mulberry Street when it comes to Italian-American atmosphere (the lack of bullet holes, for starters). But if host Kimmel says it’s a great location for a re-creation of NYC’s San Gennaro Feast, then it must be so. Dubbed the Precious Cheese Feast of San Gennaro — a name that works up a hunger for baked ziti — the fete features food booth after food booth, plus live music, carnival rides and games, fashion shows, grape stomps (shades of Lucy?), street performers and bocce ball. New this year is the Zoppé Family Circus, an old-timey show with acrobats, equestrians, clowns and talented dogs. 1651 N. Highland Ave., Hlywd.; Fri.-Sun., Sept. 22-24, 10 a.m.-11 p.m.; free, but $5 donation accepted. Prima Notte silent auction & fund-raiser Thurs., Sept. 21, 5 p.m., $100 & $250. (877) 832-1418.

SATURDAY, September 23

How would you like to be in a room with 10,000 geckos, frogs, iguanas, snakes, lizards and tortoises? Me neither, but lots of people — and not just boys — are enthusiastic weekend herpetologists, a word I just learned that means “reptile geek,” excited about this week’s North American Reptile Breeders Conference and Trade Show. Herps, as they like to be called, congregate to admire creatures that slither and crawl and often star in B movies. The president of my favorite new group, New England Reptile Distributors (yep, NERD), will be on hand to discuss “the cutting edge of ball python breeding.” Anaheim Convention Center, ?800 W. Katella Ave., Anaheim; Sat., Sept. 23, 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Sun., Sept. 24, 11 a.m.-4 p.m.; $15 weekend pass. Reptile Magazine preview party Fri., Sept. 22, 5 p.m., $100. (708) 932-8044.

SUNDAY, September 24

Abbot Kinney Festival has two stages of live music, dancers, performers, food, a Spirit Garden, a kiddie area with rides and slides, arts & crap booths, and a colorful parade of people walking up and down the festive street in a good mood. Why are they in a good mood? Because they aren’t at the Sunset Junction, where they had to fork over $15 to do exactly the same thing for free. Granted, the bands were of Cramps caliber, but still. Abbot Kinney Blvd. between Main St. & Venice Blvd., Venice; Sun., Sept. 24, 10 a.m.-6 p.m.; free. www.abbotkinney.org.

Shameless conflict-of-interest alert: The Underground Guide to Los Angeles is celebrating the publication of its third edition of “divulging saucy secrets from an insider’s point of view.” Yours truly has a chapter or two, as do Pamela Des Barres, Lina Lecaro, Margaret Cho, Al Ridenour, and editors Pleasant Gehman and Iris Berry. And if the publishers are reading this, do I get another check for $25? And while we’re abusing the power of the press: To Donald Faison of Scrubs: Please do something about your dog barking until 4:30 a.m. the other night. Thanks. Skylight Books, 1818 N. Vermont Ave., Los Feliz; Sun., Sept. 24, 5 p.m.; free. (323) 660-1175.

MONDAY, September 25

Brian Stokes Mitchell, perhaps the handsome-est man on Broadway, brings his hunky self to the West Coast for the kickoff of a new series called Musical Mondays. If you love musical theater, you won’t want to miss this. Each month, a different star sings his or her heart out. Cocktails and hors d’oeuvres get everyone in the mood, and a dessert reception following the performance keeps the party vibe going. Proceeds go to the Actors’ Fund of America, which provides programs for needy members of the entertainment community. Next up: Peter Gallagher, followed by Valarie Pettiford. The Pantages Theater, 6233 Hollywood Blvd., Hlywd.; Mon., Sept. 25, 8 p.m.; $150 per concert, or all three for $375. (323) 933-9244, Ext. 54.

TUESDAY, September 26

Selene Luna, who calls herself, among other things, “the darling of Hollywood’s underground cabaret scene,” debuts her new autobiographical revue, Pocket Venus. It’s her life story told with a cast featuring Pearl Harbour (yes, that Pearl Harbour), puppeteer Matt Scott, Velvet Hammer-er Jillian Lauren and more. Ms. Luna promises “really sick songs, Broadway classics and enchanting visuals.” She won’t reveal too much, but tantalizes us by saying the show addresses the questions she is constantly asked as a little person. “The audience will be transported,” she coos — and this little broad can coo like nobody’s business. Cavern Club Celebrity Theater, 1920 Hyperion Ave., Silver Lake; Tues.-Wed., Sept. 26-27, 8 p.m.; $15. (323) 969-2530.

WEDNESDAY, September 27

This just in from our fave comic Maria Bamford: “I will be performing my one-person sitcom, Plan B, in a special showcase. This is a special [note to Maria: Try not to use “special” so often] performance for TV development folks to interest them in turning my one-person sitcom into a REAL sitcom. But you’re invited, too! And it’s FREE! Come out and show them how much you want to see me on TV doing something new for a change!” Thanks, Maria. See ya there! The Egyptian Arena Theater, 1625 N. Las Palmas Ave., Hlywd.; Wed., Sept. 27, 8 p.m. (also Mon., Sept. 25, 8 p.m.); free, but resv. required. (818) 980-9267.

Yo no speakee español bueno, pero yo adoro el grupo El Gran Silencio. Esta grupo me remindo de Mano Negra — mucho energy, trumpets y a singer muy yummy. House of Blues, 8430 Sunset Blvd., W. Hlywd.; Wed., Sept. 27, 7:30 p.m.; $25. (213) 480-3232.

THURSDAY, September 28

The National Geographic All Roads Film Project comes to town with a four-day program of film and still photography from indigenous and underrepresented minority cultures. Tonight’s opening is titled “All Roads to Tibet,” with a performance by Yungchen Lhamo, “the voice of Tibet” (we’ll take the flier’s word for it), along with the U.S. premiere of Milarepa. This fascinating series continues through Sunday with a myriad of opportunities to see films you would otherwise never know about. The Egyptian Theater, 6712 Hollywood Blvd., Hlywd., and the Aero Theater, 1328 Montana Ave., Santa Monica. Opening night Thurs., Sept. 28, 7 p.m.; series thru Oct. 1; $9, $7 students & seniors. (323) 466-FILM.?

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