¡Ask a Mexican! East Meets Mex
Is it true that there are a lot more Mexicans hooking up with East Indians now? I know a few mixed Mexican-Indian couples, and Ive heard that in some parts of the country, there are communities full of Mexican Hindus (products of MexicanEast Indian intermarriage). Is it true that this is a rising trend? If so, do you have any advice for young Indian-Americans interested in attracting Mexican girls or guys?
El Otro Tipo de Indio
Dear Other Type of Indian: I try not to answer questions about interethnic amor (thats more of a Dan Savage thing), but Ill run yours because it allows me to plug Making Ethnic Choices: Californias Punjabi Mexican Americans. This fascinating 1994 ethnography by University of California Irvine anthropology professor Karen Leonard studies Mexican women in the United States who married men from the Punjab region of whats now India and Pakistan during the first half of the 20th century. There are muchos similarities between Mexican and Punjabi cultures a love of flatbreads (tortillas and rotis), spicy cuisine and loud, drum-based music (banda and bhangra, respectively) but Leonard concludes that American immigration policies barring most Asian women from entering this country inspired many of the unions, and that both Mexican and Indian-American communities (never mind the gabachos) discriminated against these families. Modern-day MexicanEast Indian couples can expect the same resistance from their kin, but I urge both cultures to unite under the beauty of our shared swarthy skins and hatred of American foreign policy. But a warning to East Indian suitors whether youre Muslim, Sikh, Hindu or Jain, whether your family is from Gujarat or Mumbai, Mexicans will call you hindú.
Dear Mexican: Has the 1965 Immigration Act proved to be a good thing or bad thing for America, and has the recent unprecedented flood of immigrants (both legal and illegal) been an overall good thing or bad thing for America? Please fully explain your answer and include economical, cultural and quality-of-life issues in 25 words or less (just kidding take all the words you want). Please include, if you would, your opinion of the axioms All cultures are equal and Diversity is our (Americas) strength.
Punk Rock Fag!
Dear Joto Gabacho: Better yet, heres a one-word answer: Yes. No stats, as youll find numbers to support your position, to which Ill retort with obscure governmental reports, and well do our do-si-do until the vacas come home. Sorry, Punk Rock Fag!, but the Mexican is an open-borders, pro-amnesty kind of vato, the type that thinks any sucker willing to cross deserts and rivers or crawl through sewers for the chance of a better life deserves a shot at citizenship (provided they contribute to los Estados Unidos, dont beat their wives, and dont feed children Cheetos Flamin Hot). Thats why Im thrilled that Congress is mulling amnesty for millions. In all fairness, Im completamente biased on the issue youll get the straight dope on all other Mexican questions except this one. Blame my papi for the intellectual inconsistency: He came to this country in the trunk of a Chevy (pronounced with a hard ch sound, of course) in 1968 as a 17-year-old dirt farmer with a fourth-grade education. Lorenzo Arellano eventually ended his illegal days (though not because of the 1986 amnesty that wouldve been his friends) and is now a proud, truck-driving citizen who doesnt speak much English, votes absentee in every election and thinks the Guatemalan hordes will ruin this country. Why wouldnt we want more Lorenzos? If hes not proof of a postmodern American, I dont know what is.
SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION ALERT! Buy my book Scribner still needs more cash to pay off my coyotes!
Got a spicy question about Mexicans? Ask the Mexican at firstname.lastname@example.org. Questions: They will be edited for clarity, cabrones. And include a hilarious pseudonym, por favor, or well make one up for you!
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss LA Weekly's biggest stories.