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A Whole Lotta Whoop-De-Do

Mom!!!! Youre embarrassing me! See Wednesday. (Courtesy of Charles Phoenix)

FRIDAY, December 1

We use the “F” word as infrequently as possible, but there are certain things that only this descriptive designation can capture, such as what Divine Design is all about — and that’s fabulous. You put on something — here it comes again in a slangy form! — faboo and join other attractive people for some serious shopping. We’re talking tiptop, fancy-pants designers, all half off or more. The more you buy, the more you benefit Project Angel Food, which feeds people with HIV/AIDS. 9900 Wilshire Blvd. (at Santa Monica Blvd.), Beverly Hills; Fri.-Mon., Dec. 1-4, times vary; $25; awards preview night $275 & $350; VIP shopping day $100. www.divinedesign.org.

How do you spell “Yippie-yi-yo-ki-yay”? The organizers of Cowboy Max’s Wild West Whoop-De-Do don’t know either, so they went the “whoop-de-do” route, which is better than settling for the Rassin’-Frassin’ Westival. In case you haven’t guessed by now, it’s an Old West thing with trick roping, bullwhip chicanery, bluegrass, ukulele music and some sorta dramatic offering called Geranium in My Cranium. Comic Shelby Bond is the aforementioned Cowboy Max, and you get two bucks off the ticket price if you come dressed as a cowboy. Club Fais Do-Do, 5257 W. Adams Blvd., L.A.; Fri.-Sat., Dec. 1-2, 8 p.m.; $12. (323) 559-3434.

SATURDAY, December 2

This year’s theme for the Los Angeles Auto Show is “A New Beginning.” The organizers also finally got smart and scheduled the event just in time for people (are you reading this, Mr. Molyneaux?) to buy their spouses a shiny new car for Christmas. More than 1,000 new models, including 15 being seen for the first time anywhere, will be trotted out for your ooohing and aahhhing pleasure. Los Angeles Convention Center, 1201 S. Figueroa St., dwntwn.; Fri., Dec. 1, 11 a.m.-10:30 p.m.; Sat., Dec. 2, 9 a.m.-1 p.m.; Sun., Dec. 3, 9 a.m.-8 p.m.; Mon.-Thurs., Dec. 4-7, 11 a.m.-10 p.m.; $10, $7 seniors weekdays only. www.LAautoshow.com.

What is WAHA? The West Adams Heritage Association seeks to preserve one of L.A.’s oldest communities. In this neighborhood, you’ll find Victorian, Queen Anne, Eastlake, Shingle, Mission and Craftsman homes. Six of them will be gussied up for the 20th Annual West Adams Holiday Tour. You can take a walking tour, or attend a progressive dinner, all to benefit the association. Call for map; Sat.-Sun., Dec. 2-3, call for times; $40 walking tour/$85 dinner & tour (Sun. only). Advanced registration only: (323) 732-4223; WAHAholiday@aol.com; www.­westadamsheritage.com.

SUNDAY, December 3

Ever wanted to run a marathon but was turned off by the fact that it’s, you know, a marathon? How about making history at the first ever City of Angels Half Marathon. This way, when you don’t finish you can feel twice as bad about yourself! Starts at Griffith Park and finishes at L.A. City Hall; Sun., Dec. 3, 7:30 a.m. www.cityofangelshalf.com.

Ah, those excruciating holiday memories. Welcome to Sugar Plum Fairy, Sandra Tsing Loh’s one-woman show about her devastating experience as a 12-year-old auditioning for The Nutcracker. Dreck the halls, indeed. Luckman Fine Arts Complex, Cal State L.A.; Fri., Dec. 1, 8 p.m.; Sat., Dec. 2, 8:30 p.m.; Sun., Dec. 3, 3 p.m.; $35. (323) 343-6600.

MONDAY, December 4

It’s beginning to look a lot like . . . Darwin? Singing Darwin scholar and anthropologist — how often does one get to type that? — Richard Milner returns with his academia-meets-vaudeville show Charles Darwin: Live and In Concert! Bring a tap-dancing fundamentalist Christian and get in free! (Not.) Steinway Hall, 12121 W. Pico Blvd., L.A.; Mon., Dec. 4, 8 p.m.; $25. (310) 471-3979.

TUESDAY, December 5

Remember music videos? Music Video Production Association’s Ninth Annual Director’s Cuts Film Festival presents the short films by directors known for their work with Marilyn Manson, Foo Fighters, Mary J. Blige, Beastie Boys, Nas and others. Along with the shorts will be screenings of rare music vids, including Gnarls Barkley’s “Smiley Faces,” Arctic Monkeys’ “View From the Afternoon” and Queens of the Stone Age’s “Burn the Witch.” Egyptian Theater, 6712 Hollywood Blvd., Hlywd.; Tues., Dec. 5, 7:30 p.m.; $35, includes postscreening reception with hosted wine/beer bar. (323) 466-FILM.

WEDNESDAY, December 6

The way an owl can spot a mouse or a new parent can sense the need for a diaper change, Charles Phoenix has a nose for unearthing wacky old discarded slides. Charles Phoenix’s Retro Holiday Slide Show has become an L.A. tradition. You think your family is embarrassing? Wait till you see some of the hairdos, outfits and furniture in these hilarious scenes from the ’40s through the ’70s. Egyptian Theater, 6712 Hollywood Blvd., Hlywd.; Wed.-Fri., Dec. 6-8, Fri.-Sat., Dec. 15-16, Wed.-Sat., Dec. 20-23, Fri.-Sat., Dec. 29-30, all at 8 p.m.; $30, $25 in advance. (866) 754-3374.

THURSDAY, December 7

It had to happen — a coffee-table book dedicated to the wonder that was hair metal. A shiny new copy of Steven Blush’s new American Hair Metalwould be just the thing to tell your guests, “I am proud of my Sunset Strip heritage.” Poison, Cinderella, the Crüe, Stryper and Skid Row are the heroes of the glossy pages. Sure, NYC had CBGB and Richard Hell, but L.A. can proudly boast Gazzarri’s and Nikki Sixx. Wait . . . that’s kinda sad. Book Soup, 8818 Sunset Blvd., W. Hlywd.; Thurs., Dec. 7, 7 p.m.; book costs $23. (310) 659-3110.?


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