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"Don't You People Ever Pave the Goddamn Streets?" and Other Questions Fielded by Eric Garcetti's New Help Desk

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Tue, Aug 20, 2013 at 9:47 AM

click to enlarge You've got the questions; Eric Garcetti's got the answers. - PHOTO BY SUSAN SLADE SANCHEZ
  • You've got the questions; Eric Garcetti's got the answers.
Last month, Mayor Eric Garcetti created a "help desk" for regular, normal Angelenos to ask anything they want. Anything at all.

"As people come to City Hall, they can come right here and ask us whatever question it is," Garcetti told KNX's Claudia Peschuitta. "My basic philosophy is you deserve whatever you want or a darn good explanation as to why you can't have it and nothing in between."

Finally! A politician who thinks we deserve whatever we want.

So what do Angelenos want? An exclusive L.A. Weekly investigation, undertaken exclusively by L.A. Weekly, has obtained an exclusive list of actual questions Angelenos have posed to the help desk. These questions, our exclusive investigation has confirmed, reveal the deepest desires of the citizens of Los Angeles -- and the questions that torment our very souls.

In no particular order, here are 25 actual help desk questions:

1. Is this the Bradbury building?

2. Is this where I pay my parking ticket?

3. Where can I get one of those weed cards?

4. What should my fake ailment be?

5. What's better - the 405, Sepulveda Pass, Coldwater Canyon, or prayer?

6. Seventy-three dollars for a street cleaning ticket? Are you fucking kidding me?

7. Let me rephrase that: Are you fucking kidding me?

8. I say that because $73 is so high so as to make its price akin to something of a joke.

Turn the page for more actual questions Angelenos have asked the help desk

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