The 10 Most Depressing Excerpts From Sheriff Spokesman Steve Whitmore's Personal Blog | The Informer | Los Angeles | Los Angeles News and Events | LA Weekly
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The 10 Most Depressing Excerpts From Sheriff Spokesman Steve Whitmore's Personal Blog

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Wed, Jul 18, 2012 at 2:05 PM

click to enlarge STEVE WHITMORE VIA TWITTER
All of a sudden, every terrifying conversation we've ever had with L.A. County Sheriff's Department spokesman Steve Whitmore makes so much more sense.

We just discovered his LiveJournal personal blog -- and it's an absolute minefield of bitterness and morbid regrets and 15-year-old girl tears. (Also, History Channel reviews. Kid you not.)

Many local journalists can attest:

No matter what you ask Whitmore, he'll respond -- in his inimitable half-growl, half-yell -- by scoffing at your question and denying all allegations in full, likely throwing in an "I know what you're really asking!" or even an "I know everything!" for good measure.

It honestly makes for some pretty awesome quotables. But you always get the feeling, upon hanging up the phone, that he's been referencing something darker than the latest sheriff's scandal.

We've never blamed Whitmore for his demons. The toughest job in this city has got to be making the wildly corrupt and brutish L.A. Sheriff's Department look like it's operating under some kind of order. Despite the horrendous allegations against him and his deputies, "Teflon" Sheriff Lee Baca just keeps strolling around in his pristine khaki uniform -- and he has Whitmore to thank for wicking all those tomatoes.

However, Whitmore's PR job has obviously taken its toll. And even before he started at the Sheriff's Department, his blog reveals a lifetime of personal and career failures (his words, not ours), like causing his father, actor James Whitmore, "a significant amount of embarrassment and pain," and eventually abandoning his dream to become a journalist.

Yikes.

We don't mean to pry. But when you post links to your sappy emo rants on your official @sheriffspio Twitter account, you're just asking to be pried. Perhaps you're even crying for help?

So, without further ado: Here are the 10 most depressing excerpts from sheriff spokesman Steve Whitmore's personal blog. Pro-bono psychiatrists, feel free to intervene.

10, 9. From "Disappointments Line the Street to Fulfillment":

I have been plagued throughout my life with this uncanny feeling of disappointment; that it isn't enough; that I am doomed to fail and others will delight in it with an " I told you so." Nothing but smiling faces surrounding me while a shudder from another enormous mistake. Time. And time again.

Years ago, I wrote a column in a small, daily newspaper. It appeared three times-a-week, if memory serves. It was my happiest time of life, in terms of work. One day I was feeling extraordinarily frustrated and downright pissed-off. So, I wrote that in my column.

What I did was take a huge type-face, and write the word: AAAAAAARGH!!! And ran it down the entire length of the space reserved for my column. At the bottom, it read: "Just one of those days."

8. From "Holidays are tough for those alone, disenfranchised and, perhaps, lost" (posted on the Fourth of July):

I am always reminded on holidays about those folks estranged from their families. It can make the day so much the tougher. I know this because it is true for me.

I was raised in a wonderful loving family. I did not do well in that family. It was not the families fault. If there be fault it lies with me. Nobody else.

7, 6. From "Growing old; perhaps discovering another level of maturity":

Interesting times, when you move up the ladder of age. You look around, this has become a cliché, and wonder "what the f#$*&!"

And by the way, nobody reads this anyway. It's not like a I have any following. I do not. Again, I do this without choice. I do this because it's like breathing.

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