[Update, August 25, 4:35 p.m.: L.A. County health officials to the rescue! Two days into the heat wave, they've issued a "HEAT ALERT" for the county. In case you're still not understanding: IT'S MAD HOT OUT!
"To provide relief from the heat for the elderly and others who face heat-related health difficulties and stress, cooling centers are open throughout the County," announced L.A. County Supe Mike Antonovich just now. In other words, buildings with air conditioning. So when you die of heat stroke Saturday afternoon, don't say the county didn't warn you!]
It's only 10:30 a.m., and already our knickers are stuck to our seats in a thick coat of grueling workaday sweat.
It's a heat wave, bitches! (We'd keep complaining, but then we remember the icy, 68-degree apocalypse that was Summer 2010, and we thank the weather gods for this sweaty reversal, and promise to enjoy it down to every last drop of under-knee dew.)
What's more, this will be the hottest day of the year, according to National Weather Service. City News reports:
The mercury is expected to hit 105 in parts of the San Fernando Valley today, topping out at 109 in the Antelope Valley, according to the NWS, which also reported that the heat wave -- which began Tuesday -- would continue through early next week. The scorching conditions are the result of dominant high pressure over the Southwest combined with weak onshore flow.
"Some stations may have been hotter earlier in the year but overall, (today) will be the hottest it's been this year,'' meteorologist Ryan Kittell told the news wire. Though "tomorrow may feel just as hot" because humidity will be up.
Oh goody! More sweaty knickers and hordes of lizards making a break for our open sliding-glass doors, for to escape this ridiculous heat!
Of course, today's raging, record-setting heat advisory comes with all the usual warnings: Don't wear a freaking peacoat, drink water, and don't leave your kids/puppies/grandparents in the car, for christ's sake.
Especially if you're in Woodland Hills (103 degrees), Newhall (105 degrees) or Palmdale/Lancaster (106 degrees). Also, if you're on a desert tour in a stall-prone rental car, don't get out and venture down a sketchy dirt road. (R.I.P.)
Throwback to the first heat wave of the year, back in March: "Five Ways to Revel in the Two-Day Hot Flash." Only now, with bloody-mary popsicles.
Originally posted August 25 at 10:30 a.m.