Much in the tradition of our own "How to Take Ecstasy: L.A. County Health Officials Teach You How" -- newly relevant this morning in light of the Hollywood Boulevard rave riots (really) -- the navy blog published a post called "The navy's guide to scoring drugs" just over one hour ago.
It presumably poked fun at the following map of the L.A.'s southernmost tip...
... distributed to USS Abraham Lincoln crew members by the Naval Criminal Investigative Service on Monday. (Turns out it's Navy Week at the Port of Los Angeles, some ploy to turn that ghetto cargo dump into a glittering tourist attraction.) Anyway, take a gander, courtesy of the Daily Breeze:Though the red rectangles were obviously drawn as a warning, not a come-hither, it's easy to make the joke that the NCIS did the shipful of deprived sailors a favor by directing them straight to San Pedro's points of sin.
More upset than anybody, understandably, are the port district's shop owners and Chamber of Commerce/Visitors Bureau officials, who feel the navy map has given their home turf an (undeserved) bad name.
"I was pretty shocked," Andrew Silber, the guy who runs the Whale and Ale Pub told the Breeze. "I didn't know anyone was trying to paint such a dark picture of San Pedro."
Adding insult to injury, the back of the map then "extols all the amenities that can be found in downtown Long Beach," according to the Breeze. Apparently the NCIS has never heard of Snoop Dogg?
We can't say San Pedro is the first place we'd take our ailing grandmother for a picnic, but these dudes have seen it all -- pretty sure they can handle a couple cracked-out hobos and the occasional sidewalk syringe. This isn't freaking Mozatlan we're talking about here.
The Weekly has contacted NCIS media-relations officer Ed Buize for comment.
But in the meantime, San Pedro, don't worry your pretty little head over some street-stupid pointers from the captain's quarters -- unsurprisingly, Silber told the Breeze he was still noticing a bunch of crew members in downtown San Pedro this week. Whether that's in spite of the map or because of it, we'll let NCIS figure out on its own.
Last thing: Can someone please Wikileaks this "Scoop Deack" shit already?