From the Department of Don't Try This at Home comes this doozy from the Glendale News-Press:
A 63-year-old man was discovered -- alive and naked on a lounge chair outside his house -- with a knife protruding from his belly.
This happened early Sunday evening in the 1000 block of Columbus Ave. What was the guy trying to do?
Perform surgery on himself with a butter knife. His hernia was bothering him, he said.
Needless to say, the man was hospitalized and put on a psych hold by cops, according to the News-Press.
Oh, and that hernia operation? It's a 30-minute procedure, apparently.