It's got to be rough, naming a bandit.
In one short, catchy phrase, you've got to embody a criminal's entire countenance and M.O., so that he (or she -- can't forget the Bonnies of the world) will be instantly recognizable to all who come in contact.
Of the dozens of serial bandits on the loose in Los Angeles, some are blessed with dashing titles: There was the Dapper Bandit, all old-Hollywood in his newsboy cap. And the Buckshot Bandits, named for their trusty shotguns. Even the Chimney Sweep Bandit came out pretty well for a dude with dirt on his face.
But for every lucky badass...
... there's some poor mastermind who gets his balls cut off by the clever FBI christener who just can't resist a shot at revenge. In honor of the "All Ears Bandit," who's on the loose today in L.A., we give you the 10 most embarrassingly named serial bandits in L.A. history, pulled from the labankrobbers.org database:
10. Magoo Bandit
Called "Magoo" after America's ultimate nearsighted nerd, this late-80s criminal was worlds more nimble than his namesake: He robbed at least seven banks and made off with over $10,000.
What could worse for a hickish Valley rebel than being called out by FBI agents for paying special attention to his facial hairs in the morning before the good ol' loot and pillage? Come on, guys: Maybe it just grows that way.