And who better to sum up all King's peace-lovin' goodness up than a sharp young girl from right here in Los Angeles? Over a lovely mid-90s family dinner with her parents and a highly utilized bottle of Ketchup, "Carly" spins a nifty tale of an unforgettable man, which we're going to call Everything You Ever Needed To Know About Martin Luther King, Jr.
Beginning at 03:26:
"He gave lots of speeches. And one day, he came up in front of a big, big crowd. And then, he wanted peace. And then, some people didn't want peace. Some people didn't like him. And then one day, someone was standing up on the front. I think he was sneaking behind Martin Luther King, and then he shot him I think."
Amen, sister. Carly's dad adds a finishing touch to the story:
"James Earl Ray -- he's the bad guy. They locked him up and threw away the key," he says.
"Ate it!" yells Carly.
And if you somehow still don't understand why you didn't have to go to work/school today, here's the digital man's guide to understanding King's message in the modern day: "What Would MLK Tweet? Martin Luther King Jr. Translated For The Twitter Generation."
P.S. If you've got time to watch the rest of the Carly video, you'll be all studied up for Rosa Parks' birthday next year. Highlight:
"A white person came over -- they take people's seats. White persons take black people's seats."