How better to determine the Top 10 news items of the year in our wonderfully fucked-up, always aggravating but certainly never boring City of Angels than by raw click count?
The following stories may not be the most important of the year, by measure of political weight or significance to our daily lives, but they're the ones you wanted to read the most, for better or worse. And really -- who are the Associated Press editors to tell us that Afghanistan and the Tea Party movement ruled the news in 2010? In this here recap, the customer is always right.
Starting from the top, complete with our favorite reader comments:
By Erin Broadley
June 24, 2010
The Suicide Girls' convention booth -- normally consisting of half-naked models from the funky, gaudy, wildly popular punk-porn website SuicideGirls.com -- were allegedly issued a ban this year by San Diego Comic-Con officials. Apparently, an underage kid was spotted buying an 18+ Suicide Girls DVD last year.
However, when contacted by the Weekly, Comic-Con denied it would ever do such a thing, instead claiming the girls just hadn't remembered to book a booth. Whether they were truly banned or just couldn't stop coyly nibbling their goth-polished fingernail long enough to fill out the proper paperwork, the dark princesses of Internet porn were sorely missed this year.
Erin says, "OH NOZ!!! Someone bought a video and saw a titty. Get over yourself America, you lead the world in porno sales, time to drop the goodie-two-shoes act."
For more evil bans, see "Top 10 Los Angeles Bans Of 2010: They Left Us Bagless, Smokeless And Puppyless, With Nary A Loko In Sight." And for a retrospective of all the year's hottest conventions -- including the suicide-free July event, sad face -- check "Best of the Cons 2010."
By Michael Albo
Sept. 2, 2010
A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. For the brave souls trying their luck as prostitutes at Nevada's legal brothels, the economic downturn meant a controversial career choice that, in the end, was worth keeping food on the table.
The Weekly talked to newly converted sex hires at the Love Ranch, the Moonlight Bunny Ranch, the Sagebrush Ranch and the Kit Kat Guest Ranch, living in a rugged universe where a church minister runs the Brother Owners' Association and customers code-name themselves after the president. We don't blame y'all for caring.
Roclive says, "I live in Britain where prostitutes have few teeth, smell of broccoli, and work out of disused coal mines. So I suppose all in all, it was a good idea that we gave you the colonies in 1776."
By Gus Garcia-Roberts
May 13, 2010
Ever heard of Max Mermelstein? Even if the answer is no, if you ever did blow in the '80s, you're probably familiar with his legacy.
Mean old Max "pioneered the cocaine pipeline from Medellín to Miami" in 1978, and later became one of the most prolific criminal informants in U.S. history (in exchange for a reduced sentence). Though he's always avoided journalists -- and passed away two years ago -- the Weekly told his story this year through L.A. exile and current Miami resident Brett Tabor, who's making a film based on Mermelstein's life. We recommend laying off the white stuff before reading; the suspense is cardiac-arresting enough as is. Not to toot our own horn or anything.
Daniel Ramirez says, "Ha Ha....this ought to be intersting....a Jewish Scarface....maybe Woddy Allen can play Tony Montana....LOL!!"
By Dennis Romero
Mar. 22, 2010
Apparently, yes, you do care. A lot. Ever since it dropped in springtime, this news-blog item has been blowing up like LiLo after a long night of Manhattans with the girls. And all because of a couple bitter Tweets the rebellious redhead thumbed out after having to wait in line at West Hollywood club Trousdale. The horror!
Lohan was later kicked out of the same club (and banned for life) after throwing a drink in the face of ex-lezzie lover Samantha Ronson. Still, Weekly readers seemed to care way more about her L.A. diss, and for good reason -- nobody favorites New York Shitty 'round these parts and gets away with it. Go ahead, Lindsay. See how accommodating NYC clubs are to your belligerent divahood. And never fear: We'll be watching -- and loving every second of it -- from the sunnier side of the blogosphere.
Steve says, "Poor Lindsey. Hollywood doesn't want you anymore and now neither do the clubs. I'm sure Vivid Video has some work for you in the Valley."
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The year in illicit drug use, after the jump!