Loading...
Crazytown

Countdown To The End, Day Seven: Beverly Hills Craigslister Charges $70 For 12-Pack Of Four Loko

Comments (0)

By

Tue, Dec 7, 2010 at 1:28 PM

click to enlarge Waking up the next morning in nothing but a "diamond" grill: priceless - CRAIGSLIST
  • Craigslist
  • Waking up the next morning in nothing but a "diamond" grill: priceless
We've been makin' cracks about the growing economic weight of our remaining Four Lokos for some time now -- never realizing how right we were.

People don't just want 'em. People need 'em. Bad.

The same camo-cloaked obliterater whose very merit was once its incredible cheapness (two Georgies and some change) now has the FDA-sobered citizens of Los Angeles digging deep into their pockets for one last taste of that sweet, sweet poison. Don't believe us? Just check out the going rates on Craigslist:

Four Loko ONLY $9 EACH - $9 (Hollywood)

For only $9 each I've got Lemon Lime, Watermelon and Blue Raspberry all up for grabs. Cheapest price you'll find anywhere.

Four Loko Fruit Punch - 1 Case (12 Cans) for Sale - $70 (Beverly Hills)

12 cans of Four Loko fruit punch for sale. Other flavors available upon request. Please email me with offer. CASH ONLY

Four Loko $10/can - $10 (the westside)

I have quite a few Four Lokos of all different flavors for sale. Heres your chance to get the cheapest four loko in the world.

No watermelon, sorry.

Heartbroken about the watermelon yet prevailingly mystified by their boldness, we decided to test the waters.

Sadly, everyone we called could somehow detect the eager journo-snark behind our feigned Loko fiend, and got cold feet before a deal could be cut. Bummer. One guy, who sounded as if he'd just come off a noontime Loke, said his "$140 for a 12-pack" promise was in fact meant to imply that he would merely accept a material item worth $140 in exchange for the 12-pack.

He then warbled out a well-rehearsed: "Selling alchohol without a liquor license is illegal in this country. I would never do that." Whatever you say, buddy.

In the same ass-covering vein, all Loko auctions on eBay offer this disclaimer: "Please understand I am not selling this to be consumed. This is a collectible and I strongly enforce you not to open these."

Not open a perfectly good Loke? Blasphemy!

As a final test, we called a Ventura Craigslister looking for Loko instead of hawking it. His ad says simply: "Willing to pay lots." [He then gives a phone number, but we'd feel really creepy printing it here, so just follow this link if you want it, ya creep]. Dude proceeded to offer us $8 per can -- at which point, once again, the sting operation was blown by the nerdy bartering skills of yours truly.

All in all, though, we can surely conclude that the demand exists, and that suppliers are milking the crazies for all they're worth. As they should be. Also, if things are this out of control a full week before the Loko drought, we can't even begin to fantasize about the post-Dec. 13 apocalypse. Let the countdown begin!

Coming up on Day Six: Fool the world into thinking you've got Lokos sin limites.

Related Content

Now Trending

Los Angeles Concert Tickets

Slideshows

  • Street League Skateboarding Super Crown World Championship
    On Sunday, Street League Skateboarding touched down in the Galen Center at USC as part of a four-stop tour for SLS's Super Crown World Championship. The L.A. stop determined the roster for Super Crown, airing August 24th on FOX Sports 1. The final eight are Nyjah Huston, Luan Oliveira, Torey Pudwill, Shane O'Neill, Paul Rodriguez, Chaz Ortiz, Matt Berger and Ishod Wair. All photos by Nanette Gonzales.
  • Comic-Con's "Celebrity" Autograph Area
    A sometimes overlooked (but still incredibly unique) aspect of San Diego Comic-Con are the celebs available to sign autographs, as well as the autograph seekers themselves. If you've ever wanted to meet the Soup Nazi from Seinfeld or the guy who played Michelangelo in the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, chances are, as you wander the Autograph Area, you'll be able to connect with someone you didn't even realize you were waiting your whole life to meet! All photos by Rob Inderrieden.
  • Real Madrid Soccer Practice at UCLA
    Fans came out to greet world champion soccer team Real Madrid as they practice at UCLA. This is the first time that soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo has practiced with the team this year. All photos by Jeff Cowan.