Call it a midlife crisis: 51-year-old Covina resident Mark Shoff owns 48 cars.
Which would be cool, in a creepy A&E kind of way, if Shoff also owned a 48-car parking garage. Instead, he lives with his 81-year-old mom Barbara in a suburban tract house on Aspan Avenue with a standard two-car shelter. (Barbara adds another 15 cars to the mix, DMV records show.) Let's just say: Not quite "Cribs" status.
Accordingly, Shoff's friendly neighborhood fleet is spread throughout the Covina community, slowly flaking apart, getting their jankiness all up in the gutters and sidewalks. According to KTLA, one has a busted window and many have flat tires.
As you can imagine, neighbors are stoked --
Samantha Martinez told KTLA: "He's got cars parked over there on the streets, at liquor stores... supermarkets... He parks them everywhere. And he stays out here just washing them all day."
Los Angeles County Sheriff's deputies finally did something about the curbside junkyard on Friday, when they towed 10 of Shoff's babies to a nearby lot, on grounds that the vehicles had not been moved in over 72 hours.
We're not trying to do the math or anything, but 10 rides at the 'pound for -- oh, let's say, $300 a pop -- is a large price to pay just so you can have the right beater for every occasion. (Or, as Shoff is surely thinking, "I could buy like three more with that!")
"Hoarders" better stage an intervention soon, because nearby residents have almost reached "Kill the beast!" level on their intolerance meter.
Caroline Bermude told KTLA she has left multiple notes on Shoff's windshields (note the plural) asking him to stop blocking her driveway -- only to watch him tear up the notes and leave the cars where they stand.
Bill Franklin told the Pasadena Star-News that, two years ago, in response to a petition from neighbors, the Department of Public Works put up "No Parking" signs for Tuesday street sweepings on Aspan Avenue. Hilariously, that just "created more work" for Shoff, who now moves the cars and re-parks them once street sweeping is over.
And the gals from the Beverly Wilshire Homes Association thought they had it bad.