According this handy-dandy guide from AllGov.com, the first step is to obtain a prescription. As the site notes, you can actually go to your local dispensary first. They'll lead you to a preferred doctor. And get this: "The doctor will ask you to fill out a form that includes a long list of possible symptoms," states the guide. "If you are a member of the Baby Boom Generation, you probably won't even have to lie."
For an additional fee, the guide states, patients with AIDS, cancer, laucoma, arthritis, anorexia, epilepsy, multiple sclerosis "and a few other diseases" can get a county ID card stating that it's okay for you to have medical marijuana. Otherwise you'll get a doctor's note that is a "recommendation" for pot.
At the dispensary, a clerk will call your doctor's office and check your recommendation along with your drivers license. The site states that the dispensary will then put you on file (for how long?) and you'll be able to buy pot there from now on with just a drivers license.
"First-time visitors are usually offered a gift, such as a lighter, a discount, a rolled joint or some shake (loose marijuana that has fallen off the buds)," states AllGov.
The site even gives the low-down on pot delivery: "People who are too famous, too busy or too shy to visit a dispensary in person have the option of contacting a cannabis delivery service ... As with pizzas, it's nice to give a tip."