"I'm so riddled with the holiday season that the mere mention of a stocking stuffer sexually arouses me." Who knew John Waters was such a sucker for Christmas? That paean to the "jubilee of consumerism" Waters wrote in his 1986 book, Crackpot, eventually inspired A John Waters Christmas, an annual monologue-style stand-up show he's been touring for more than a decade. The director behind some of filmdom's sleaziest movies shares personal stories about the not-so-merry side of Yuletide and doles out gift-giving advice. Hint: Gift certificates are boring and impersonal.
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