Woman Throws Pink Dildo At Police Officer During Domestic Disturbance

Take her away, officer.
Take her away, officer.

Police have to deal with a lot in their line of work and we certainly don't envy them. They get shot at, harassed and screamed at for relatively low pay. But a new indignity has joined the list of things that the boys in blue have to watch out for: dildos.

Officer Jonathan Pitts responded to a domestic dispute, eventually having to escort 47-year-old Lisa Anderson out of her friend's apartment. Anderson fought back, picking up a foot-long pink dildo and hurling it at the police officer's head. Ms. Anderson was then arrested.

The domestic dispute isn't what you might think. Police were summoned to the friend's home to remove Anderson who refused to leave. When New York City's finest showed up to remove her, wacky hijinks ensued, resulting in Anderson throwing a dildo at the arresting officer. She will be charged with second-degree harassment.

The punchline is that Ms. Anderson might be facing criminal charges as a result of her phallic attack on a police officer. Second-degree harassment is a class "A" misdemeanor in the state of New York. Anderson could receive as much as a year in jail due to her desire to throw a cock at a cop.

The crime is defined in a very broad manner, meaning that there are all kinds of things that can be "harassment" from prank phone calls to phony letters to throwing pink dongs at police officers.

Still, if Anderson has a clean record there's a good chance that she won't see any jail time. New York law allows the judge to take criminal records into account when sentencing women to jail for pitching pink dicks at police officers.

Unfortunately, the police report doesn't tell us what prompted Anderson to hurl a sex toy through the air, so we'll never know what happened. Still, the police report does contain some information that is relevant: Anderson was drunk.

Recent studies indicate that people are three times as likely to throw sex toys at police officers after a couple drinks than you are when you're sober. This brings a whole new element to sex and substance abuse education that is missing from our nation's public schools.

Still, at least as far as the arresting officer is concerned, it could have been a hell of a lot worse. First of all, it was only a foot-long dildo and not one of the anaconda models that are so popular with the kids these days.

Also, if the dildo was pink we can safely assume that it was made out of some kind of softer material. What would have been really dangerous is if Anderson had decided to throw one of her friend's metal or glass dongs. Or her collection of DVDs. Imagine if the police officer had showed up to a friend of Andersen's who was into fire play or electro sex or something else that could do real damage?

Police officers of the world, beware: There are sex toys in nearly every house in America.


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