Turn Your Bike Into a Mobile Sex Toy That's Good for the Environment and Your Glutes.

Turn Your Bike Into a Mobile Sex Toy That's Good for the Environment and Your Glutes.

You might want to sit down for this one.

A lucky reporter at Gizmag came across this little guy at the 2010 Computex show, a "massaging bicycle seat" that apparently has the same functionality and health benefits of your average rabbit vibrator.

This seat accessory attaches to fit any bike and is meant to "reduce hip and perineum pain and numbness" for a rider who's been sitting in one place for too long.

Those little seats aren't the most comfortable ass-holsters on the planet but we can only think of one way this massager truly can alleviate discomfort in the anal/vaginal region.

Orgasms.

Cuz at the end of the day, most hand-held objects that vibrate for some personal benefit - muscle massagers, electric toothbrushes, mascara wands (yeah, we thought, "WTF" on that one, too) - eventually become used for some OTHER kind of personal benefit.

One of our first sex toys was an old Oral B electric toothbrush that was left fully packaged in our bathroom storage closet. Nabbed that one as soon as we realized what kind of...oral hygiene we could maintain and never looked back.

Uh...where'd her fingers go?
Uh...where'd her fingers go?

At least not until our next homemade sex toy came around. We had to innovate at that age. We weren't destined to walk into our first Babeland for another seven years.

And what better way to get our lazy asses off the couch, out of our cars, and onto our musty bikes that have been propped behind the garage since Christmas of 2006 than to turn it into a giant mobile sex toy?

Reduce your carbon footprint with each O-face. Sounds green to us!


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