Top 20 Most Epic Vagina Songs EVER - Part 1
The allure of a beautiful gaze; the suppleness of smooth, young skin; the lusciousness of a passionate kiss... body parts have forever inspired music, from rock to country to hip-hop. And while everything from legs to lips, bottoms to bosoms have been spotlit by songwriters, there is one part that remains the ultimate muse, its mystery and magic forever inspiring cunning musical linguists since the dawn of time: the vajayjay.
Yes, female genitalia remains an enduring source of wonder and awe, even for rock 'n' roll studs who get a lot of it. And whether delved in with explicit manor or alluded to metaphorically, ditties about lady parts have made for some hot, hot music -- by both men and women. But which deserve to be considered definitive odes to "down-there?"
Look no farther than the epic list of Top 20 Twatty Tunes list we've put together here. Part 1:
20. Birthday Cake - Rihanna & Chris Brown
Our timeliest and most news-worthy tune thanks to a recent remix that sees the infamous exes getting sexy to the beat again. This one may not be RiRi's deepest, but it is a sweet example of how metaphors can be more of a turn-on than actual terminology. Or at least it was before her bad-tempered ex got to be the guy who "licks the icing off."
19. The Vagina Song- Willam Belli
At more than 2 million hits and counting on YouTube, Willam Belli's "Vagina Song" -- sung to the beat of "Billionaire" -- is a bonafide viral sensation. Belli (currently a contestant on "Rupaul's Drag Race" - Season 4) has a gift for quips and witty word-isms as many queens do, and he packs 'em into this wistful tune about wanting a sex change aka turning his "dick into a slip and slide."
18. Soft As Snow - My Bloody Valentine
Some of the prettiest lyrics about the gens and sex, reading the lyrics to this one will make you melt: Carried on a wave/Where it can lead you/Touch your head, then your hair/Softer, softer everywhere/Fingertips are burning/Can I touch you there. And yes, there's a certain irony that a band with "bloody" in its name wrote this.
17. Wynona's Big Brown Beaver - Primus
The two big questions about this may never be known for sure: 1) Is it about Winona Ryder? 2) Is it really about hairy private parts? Singer Les Claypool has said no to No. 1 (the names are spelled different), but if you think it's actually about a critter, we got some great creek land to sell ya....
16. Pussy - Rammstein
Rammstein definitely doesn't um, beat around the the bush with their music, and this is surely the band's most direct and definitive anthem about vag, managing to incorporate both their country and their cunt-ry: "Put a bratwurst in your sauerkraut!"
15. Heart Shaped Box - Nirvana
Who knew Kurt Cobain was such a sex freak? (Courtney Love apparently.) Kurt's fascination with grungy grindy parts -- and the gals attached -- was explored with this voracious valentine that's not nearly as in-your-face lyrically as the music itself. The same cannot be said for his other oozy ode, however: "Moist Vagina."
14. My Neck, My Back - Khia
This dance club hit from a few years ago makes Vanity Six's "Nasty Girl" sound like a nursery rhyme. Yup, Khia is pretty shameless on this one, which is less about her "neck" and "back" and all about her "pussy" and "crack" -- the rhymes that get repeated over and over (and over) in the chorus. Khia, like many gals, clearly prefers to have her complete nether regions serviced, not just one concentrated area.
13. Can Your Pussy Do The Dog? - The Cramps
One of the sexiest Cramps stomps regardless of the subject matter, this one's got a double dose of double entendres in the title alone. Hot dog!
12. The Pussy Song - Lords of Acid
It would appear that the "P" word seems to be the preferred term not only in porn (and sexting) but also in music. Felines and female parts do offer many poetic parallels after all, not least of which: petting! This Lords of Acid song is, on the surface, about a kitty cat, but anyone familiar with the lascivious electro spectacles of L.O.A. knows that the lyric "my pussy's hungry for a big chunk of meat" ain't about Friskies or Meow Mix.
11. Cherry Pie - Warrant
Like The Runways' "Cherry Bomb" -- which writer Kim Fowley told us personally is about losing virginity -- this 80's fave references the hymen, aka "cherry." Prince's "Erotic City" does as well ("funk until dawn, making love til cherry's gone.") Warrant's catchy rock anthem is much less salacious than either of those, which is probably why it went mainstream Top 40, that and the saucy video.
We're just getting warmed up! Check back here tomorrow for the most majora musical celebrations, orgasmic odes and poptastic jams about female private parts EVER: the tantalizing Top 10!
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss LA Weekly's biggest stories.