The BJ Chronicles: Techniques, Tricks & Contortions for Better Head

Once you get good at going down on guys, showing off comes natural. It's like getting a new tattoo: "Here, let me show you!"

If I may say from experience, one can get a little cocky or heady from knowing that you have the ability to make your guy come when you want him to. Then if you're a nut like me, you start taking risks. In public no less!

I used to bang this guy back in the 80s when I was modeling in the UK; he was an American actor, starring in a then popular English TV series about cops. I really liked him and we used to have a great time fooling around together.

My all-time favorite head recollection involved this man and an intimate dinner we were having at a fine restaurant. Lucky for him the bottom of our tablecloth just brushed the floor. I don't know if you've ever seen me put both my legs behind my head [EDITOR'S NOTE: See exhibit A] but being the limber Gumby-person that I am, especially back then, I was able to slip unnoticed under our table in between courses.

He had a blast - and proceeded to explode in my mouth, which I dutifully swallowed. I mean we were at dinner, right? The tricky part was finding my chair again; I was a little turned around. When I resurfaced I was on the other side of the table. But lucky for me, no one noticed.

For this third and final installment of the BJ Chronicles I promised I'd touch upon some more tactile tips besides my "tossing the bat" technique that I discussed last time (if you missed it: CLICK HERE). Here's a few I'd like to share with you.

Holding It Up: Hands down, the hands-on approach will enhance your blowjob experience. The term "working the pole" doesn't just apply to strippers!

  • When I'm holding a man's cock with one hand, I like to press my thumb on the underside on the penis down where the shaft meets the base, right by the balls. Then I'll apply light pressure, almost like I'm cutting off the blood flow for a second. At which point I will shove the whole thing in my mouth and then release my grip.
  • Similar to muscle confusion when you work out, you should switch it up and alternate the pattern and speed of your stroke. Different sensations on various parts of the penis create distinct reactions in the body; watch how what you're doing affects his. Once you find his preferred pace and pressure, if he's ready, finish him off.
  • There's the "twisty technique" where you use either both of your hands, stacked on top of each other to work his pole in a figure-eight pattern, both going in opposite directions. Or you can twist with just one while you concurrently suck the upper half of his staff in the same configuration. The hands and mouth should work together as a team.
  • I like to switch it up sometimes and employ the "bob-for-apples approach," which utilizes only my head. My hands are either placed on the bed for leverage or stashed behind my back - preferably tied.

Lapping It Up: I like to kiss after a guy has gone down on me, and similarly I like to kiss after I've gone down on a guy. Your mouth should be skilled at more than just extracting semen, so don't forget these other applications.

  • Lick his inner thigh, stomach and pelvic area while avoiding the family jewels until he can't stand it any longer. Then trace a tongue trail up the side of his shaft while locking your eyes with his and then slowly engulf his meat.
  • Nibble on his other erogenous zones while engaged in hand play. The ears, neck, lips, chest, nipples, scrotum, ass and the perineum (the area between the scrotum and anus) are all filled with nerve endings that can heighten his pleasure.
  • Try spitting on it. Personally I don't do that. A) It's too messy; and B) I have really bad aim. But some guys totally get off on it because that's what they see girls do in porn movies. I say try it if you're into penis humiliation, or simply some kinky shit.

Looking It Up: Eye contact is key. Nothing is sexier than when a guy watches you watch him get his dick sucked by you.

If you can, don't break your gaze and don't get self-conscious. Unless his head is tilted back in pure ecstasy he will be studying you intently.

"Fondle the balls a lot. Rub the asshole," my girlfriend, a porn performer, said to me the other day on my couch. I wanted to get some tips from a pro. "Use your hands a lot," she continued, "Stroke him off when you do it."

What about teeth?

"No on the teeth. That makes most guys nervous; you don't want to distract them."

What if you gag a lot?

"Some guys like it, some guys are scared you're going to puke on them. But there's an art to getting a guy's cock into your throat, to swallow his penis without gagging - that's deep throating. Regardless of the outcome, the girl gets an A for effort."

I agree with my starlet friend. I'd rather see a chick throwing her all into the art of oral, though she may not be doing everything porno-perfect. Some girls go through the motions, they make all the right moves but they look like a deer caught in headlights, or they're falling asleep while doing it.

Enthusiasm for the exploit makes up for imperfect technique in my book, any day. I say have a good time ladies, and he will too!

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