Someone Sent Me Art to 'Rub One Out To.' Thanks Santa?

Someone Sent Me Art to 'Rub One Out To.' Thanks Santa?

Los Angeles is comprised of personalities, talents, smoke and mirrors, and a hefty dollop of insecurity, and we can thank that recipe for some of the best artistic expression the world has seen:

Kim Zolciak and her pop career comes to mind. (NOW GET IT OUT OF THERE!)

Also thinking of a couple "fashion designers" I see near the trading post every Sunday hocking plastic sunglasses bedazzled and blinged with heavy duty puff paint and some plastic rhinestones. Oh really? Kanye just bought a pair? Well then I'll take 14...

And I often get sent pieces of art to check out, most with accompanying letters that seem to be spreading a nasty case of spelling errors among the masses. But this Christmas I received something particularly noteworthy for its phallic focus.

(I waited to spread the word after Christmas, as I see this as more of a "Happy New Year!" gift than "Here are a bunch of black-and-white cocks to help you celebrate the birth of Jesus." It was part of my civic duty, or whatever.)

"Finally...Art You Can Rub One Out To," said the letter. So thoughtful.

A local L.A. photographer who calls himself Boots Bryant (likely one of those porn star names -- childhood pet's name + street you grew up on = your new whore label) has released "Menology 2011," a calendar devoted to, well, the study of men.

Bryant is a fetish art photographer who shoots weddings and castrations on the side, and Menology features artistic nude imagery of men from all walks of life portrayed in sometimes eerie photos that Bryant began taking and compiling back in 2008.

"My calendar is for fans of masculinity and those who appreciate the penis as a work of art," he says. "Like the majority of my work it isn't art, it isn't porn, it's just my vision."

Someone Sent Me Art to 'Rub One Out To.' Thanks Santa?

Bryant's vision includes a lot of close-up full-frontal, and even features a few months with some nichey fetish positions worthy of those websites you have to Bing deep for online.

Plus the calendar inadvertently pays homage to everyday L.A. men, many of whom Bryant met at the gym, on the street and online, as well as a few porn stars he captured at acclaimed fetish photographer Rick Castro's Antebellum Gallery in Hollywood.

You can check out Menology at BootsBryant.com and see if it's something you'd like to get your best friend, manicurist or trainer you secretly know is gay. And because it's free of Santa hats, crucifixes and spinning dreidels, Menology 2011 makes the perfect gift for any holiday.

Besides, do you really need an occasion to ogle at dark pictures of penises?