Simi Valley Issues Condom-only Porn Ordinance in Case Adult Industry Infiltrates

Now...where did I put that condom?
Now...where did I put that condom?

Fearing the evil pornographers of the San Fernando Valley will invade their bedrooms backyards as a result of Los Angeles' recent condom-only ordinance, the Simi Valley City Council has pre-banned filming sex acts performed without a condom-ed co-star.

Simi Valley is about a half hour's drive west (when there isn't a soul driving on the freeway) of the neck of the valley that's been infiltrated by adult studios and their cohorts for decades.

Simi Valley's proactive Mayor Bob Huber says the main reason he proposed the ordinance is to protect performers' health and safety...but really he just wants to keep the filth out of his 'hood.

"The primary purpose here is it's a health and safety issue. And secondarily, we don't want them here," Huber said earlier. "This is a family-oriented community, and we don't want them setting up their studios in Simi Valley."

Speculation that adult studios would pack up shop and head outside of newly constrictive Los Angeles county to resume production condom-free has made the rounds since the Jan. 17 ordinance was put in place.

Whether or not that's a plausible fear is hard to nail (see what I did there?) but there has not yet been a scantily clad mass exodus from sticky Chatsworth, Calif.

Last year Simi Valley issued 59 film permits, only one of which was for a porn film, Environmental Services Director Peter Lyons told reporters.


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