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Red Lining

If and when Mayor V’s “Red Line To the Sea” is built, the MTA is considering renaming it The Purple Line, so as to avoid confusion with the Red Line to the Valley. Purple is okay when mixed with rain, but do we really want a purple train? A few options:

. Keep the colors we already have, and go with Red-South and Red-North

. The Aqua Line (it’s the beach, right?)

. The It’s Not the Orange Line Line (no dangerous intersections!)

. The Brown & Black Line (in honor of all the people the Westside subway opponents hoped to keep on the Eastside)

. Or simply, The White Line (we need to get those people onboard)

. The Crash Line (a.k.a. the Can’t-We-All-Just-Get-Along? Line)

. The Conga Line (the one place we all do get along?)

. The Lakers Line (to remind Westsiders why they’re using it)

. The Autobahn Line (to fool people out of their German cars)

. The Diamond Line (two for one)

. The Pick-Up Line (works every time)

. The LAUSD Line (less than half of all riders stay on till the end)

. The Esa-Pekka Salonen Line (a.k.a. the Finn Red Line)

. The Henry Waxman Line (oh, the irony)

. The Martin Ludlow Line (cash only)

. The Eli Broad Line (hey, the dude will pay for it!)

. The Wilshire Line (because it’s just so obvious)