Column Dave
Small Child, Cute, Ages Normally
DAVE SHULMAN
Wed, Oct 17, 2007, 6:00 pm
MILAN JIANQI LADMAN-FRYKMAN is a small, cute, nonfictional child. You should enjoy reading about her,…
Lingua Toluca
DAVE SHULMAN
Wed, Sep 19, 2007, 10:00 am
ELIZA JANE SCHNEIDER has her own fingerprints, Social Security number, employment history, references, everything. If…
Jerry Is My Pimp
DAVE SHULMAN
Wed, Aug 8, 2007, 5:00 pm
She didn’t like to think of the men who paid her as tricks. She preferred…
Unidentified Male Survives
DAVE SHULMAN
Wed, Jun 27, 2007, 7:00 pm
In accidental appreciation of Sonny Rollins
Erik Cheeseburger Goes to Hebben
DAVE SHULMAN
Wed, May 30, 2007, 4:00 pm
Short angry fiction for short angry people
Days of Mud and Coffee
DAVE SHULMAN
Wed, May 16, 2007, 3:00 pm
Naturally moist waterfront homes, rustic charm, convenient to everything
Building a Better Possum
DAVE SHULMAN
Wed, May 2, 2007, 6:00 pm
"Dan was mostly known for not saying much"
Rats in a Cheeseless Maze
DAVE SHULMAN
Wed, Apr 4, 2007, 6:00 pm
The Totally Fuckin' L.A. human-resources unit contacts me by e-mail...
Press Here
DAVE SHULMAN
Wed, Mar 21, 2007, 9:00 pm
Microediting to perfection at your Los Angeles Daily Benign-Gazette
Dolphin Stays Dry
DAVE SHULMAN
Wed, Mar 7, 2007, 1:08 pm
DOLPHIN’S ZONKED OUT in a semiprivate room on the fourth floor of the big orange…
Borgicci's Lament
DAVE SHULMAN
Wed, Feb 21, 2007, 3:00 pm
POOR BORGICCI; HE HAS NOTHING. If it were you who had nothing, it would be…
The Ungripriveting Hoot Bowl
DAVE SHULMAN
Wed, Feb 7, 2007, 12:00 pm
SPIRO TEABAGNU’S PLASMA PUB was on the north side of Wilshire Boulevard, and Scooter Haldeman’s…
Substantial John's First Turkey Infidelity
DAVE SHULMAN
Wed, Jan 24, 2007, 3:00 pm
SUBSTANTIAL JOHN IS A FAMOUS musician, actor, comedian, author, politician, filmmaker and athlete. According to…
How to Blend Real Funny
DAVE SHULMAN
Wed, Jan 10, 2007, 6:00 pm
Historically, the easiest place to be real funny is in a bar. All you have…
Hosts and Parasite
DAVE SHULMAN
Wed, Dec 27, 2006, 3:00 pm
The moon’s half full. The sky’s almost empty. To the west, surveillance helicopters circle in…
The Legend of Low-Head Clarence
DAVE SHULMAN
Wed, Nov 29, 2006, 6:00 pm
Stare down at ye navels, all And heed ye navel’s call Stare ye down there…
Petition
DAVE SHULMAN
Wed, Nov 1, 2006, 3:00 pm
Dear Fuckin’ Santa, First, I’d like to thank you for your kind letter. I’m glad…
Not to Matter
DAVE SHULMAN
Wed, Oct 18, 2006, 3:00 pm
An ambitious batch of my relatives ditched Eastern Europe for France or the United States…
The Joy of Michelle
DAVE SHULMAN
Wed, Sep 20, 2006, 7:00 pm
The zipless fuck is absolutely pure. It is free of ulterior motives. There is no…
Fletcher's Last Ball
DAVE SHULMAN
Wed, Sep 6, 2006, 6:00 pm
Leaving by way of secondary northbound arteries, staying clear of the coast. By car until…
Heaven
DAVE SHULMAN
Wed, Aug 23, 2006, 12:00 pm
Bosko Meggs was an indoor man. He lived in a two-room walkup. He used to…
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