Cold-Cocked: Croatian Penis Warmers Enjoy a Surprising Surge
Can I warm you up?
Sometimes the treasure of a nation really does lie in the talents of its people. Witness the latest rise in popularity in Croatian housewife Radmila Kus' line of hand-knit penis warmers. While unfortunately not available online for purchase at press time -- no Etsy for Kus -- word of her woolen willies, spreading like proverbial wildfire at last check, has once again propagated the concept of warm wangs throughout the Western world.
The International Business Times reports that Kus, 55, has resurrected the tradition of weaving penis warmers -- known as scalda pene in neighboring Italy -- from the past. They were originally worn by men working in the forests of the mountainous Dinaric Alps region of Croatia to ward off the insidious frostbite of bitterly cold winters. Most popular size for the custom-made warmers? 20 cm, or 7.9 inches; it is unclear if this measurement is taken pre-shrinkage. 2 hours' worth of Kus' work produces a $9 warmer; on Etsy, the penis-pampering competition charges at least quadruple Kus' reasonable rates.
At last report, Kus announced she planned to give a penis warmer personally to President Obama - although, admittedly, that's not what people mean when they talk about "the measure of a President."
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