5 Reasons Why There's No Way in Hell That Hot Chick Over There Will Sleep With You

Dream on dude, it's not happening.
Dream on dude, it's not happening.

You know the type. She's the stunningly beautiful chick standing across who is completely out of your league. Here are five reasons why she'll never sleep with you. Like, ever.

Because You're a Fucking Douchebag: Like attracts like, so unless you want to get with some rhinestone t-shirt wearing empty-headed, fake tan douche that incessantly hollers at everything that walks by and spends several nights a week downing magnums at Supperclub, you may want to re-evaluate your style, your game and your life plan.

Because Your Pick Up Line Sucks:The desire to fuck is obviously the basis for all pick up lines, but that point should remain a subtlety in your initial approach. This means absolutely no 'hey baby, I want to get with you,' or 'hey baby, you're so fine.' Really, 'hey baby' anything probably isn't going to get you very far, unless it's 'Hey baby, my name is Ryan Gosling.'

And, for the love of god, do not force your phone number on her and then demand she call your cell right away so you have hers. Girls despise this move, and the chances of immediately getting a "Do Not Answer" kiss of death slapped next to your name after pulling it are exceedingly good, which means your chances of ever getting in her pants are definitely piss poor.

Because You're Too Damn Excited: It's hard not to come on fast and strong to a ridiculously beautiful woman, but seriously, unless you've got mad game, you've got to slow your roll. Hot girls are used to guys getting so overwhelmed by their beauty that all they can muster up in the way of conversation is "oh my god I can't believe how hot you are.' While honest and well-intentioned, this behavior is also pathetic, and pathetic is rarely lay-able.

So even if you want to sleep with her, marry her and have her mother your children, it's best not to mention these points within the first ten minutes of conversation. Act like you're on her level, and she'll likely believe you are.

Because She's Got a Boyfriend: If she's hot, it means that a lot of guys want to get with her and often that some lucky bastard already has. Still, if she mentions her boyfriend but doesn't immediately shut down your advances, there is still some gray area to play in. If she's not with her significant other when you meet her, it's possible to tactfully suss out the status of the relationship. If they're going through a rough patch, she might be open to a random hook up with a stranger. (That's you). She may also be in the market for a second guy for some two boys on one girl action. But if all you get is a steadfast 'I have a boyfriend' reply paired with minimal direct eye contact, it's best to move on to her slightly less hot friend.

Because You Haven't Even Tried: The thing with hot chicks is that they're intimidating. This means that dudes get nervous around them. Which means that many times, they only get approached by oblivious douchebags (see above), or that they don't get approached at all.

Indeed, the sad irony of being a hot chick, especially a shy hot chick, is that extreme beauty can actually repel male attention. You've got to be brave, guys. If you see a gorgeous specimen of femininity that you want to get with, don't assume that she's uninterested, that's she's a mean bitch, or that she's so overloaded with other options that you don't have a chance. Likely, she's just waiting for someone who isn't a complete asshole to make an effort. So gather your confidence, prepare your opening line, stay calm and go over to her and confidently say hello. Worst case scenario is getting rejected. Best case is actually sleeping with that hot chick over there.

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