Stuck in a Winter Wonderland Traffic Jam

FRIDAY, November 25 Jacques Tati. For lovers of sublime silliness, just the name evokes giggles. Like the tennis scene in Mr. Hulot’s Holiday. Or when an adorable little boy waddles to the ice cream cart, gets two cones and returns home, slo-o-o-owly turning a doorknob without toppling his scoop. Genius! Give Tati a slouch hat, a trench coat and a pipe and throw him into the modern world, and the results are beautiful, zany and a little sad. As part of its “Tati” series, American Cinematheque screens a fully restored print of Tati’s Playtime, which Francois Truffaut called “a film from another planet.” Egyptian Theater, 6712 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood; Fri., Nov. 25, 7 & 9:30 p.m.; Sat., Nov. 26, 2, 7 & 9:30 p.m.; Sun., Nov. 27, 5 & 7:30 p.m.; $9. (323) 466-FILM. SATURDAY, November 26 It’s beginning to look a lot like you-know-what, and bumper-to-bumper traffic looks so much more festive during the holiday season. Our favorite traffic jam of the year is the DWP Light Festival in Griffith Park, where we sit in our cars ooohing and aaahing at the lights. I mean, how L.A. can you get? You don’t actually expect us to get out of the car and walk in our winter wonderland? (If you must, you can walk along the path that begins from the L.A. Zoo parking lot.) Griffith Park, Crystal Springs Dr.; daily, thru Dec. 30, 5-10 p.m.; free. (323) 913-4688, Ext. 9. SUNDAY, November 27 Celebrities of all ranks live among us. You probably have one, or at least an ex-one, on your block. I have Scrubs’ Donald Faison on my street, for example. Yet, when it comes to the Hollywood Christmas Parade, the organizers always seem unable to talk even Fritz Coleman into showing up. Oh, sure, they might get Ruth Buzzi and Louie Anderson, but somebody at the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce needs to steal Johnny Grant’s Rolodex and call up a Cruise, a DeGeneres, a Pitt or, for Christ’s sake, even a bloody Hilton. Seriously, two years ago when I went, it was car after car of attractive nobodies, which made the whole thing feel like you were in Flagstaff, Arizona. What’s next? How about getting Dennis Woodruff? He even brings his own float! This year’s grand marshal is Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, who we all know will show up for the opening of a supermarket. At least we can confirm that Kathy Griffin will be there. Thank you, Kathy Griffin! Starts at Hollywood Blvd. & Orange Dr., Hollywood; Sun., Nov. 27, 5 p.m.; free, $40 grandstand seats, $35 children. 1-866-PARADE-1. Cello, I love you.See Monday. MONDAY, November 28 You could say we’re bowed over by Jorane. Of course, you could say that and get fined for using the lamest pun ever associated with the cello. Onstage, it’s just Jorane and her instrument, plus her five taped-on bows — three on the left hand, two on the right (insert Edward Scissorhands joke here). Her songs are just fucking haunting and gorgeous. The Knitting Factory (Alterknit Lounge), 7021 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood; Mon., Nov. 28, 7:30 p.m.; $10. (323) 463-0204. TUESDAY, November 29 How to be a Pulitzer Prize–winning author: Grow up poor but with a good memory for details; teach high school English for 20 years in New York City, where every day is a challenge to keep students interested and inspired; write autobiography of your entirely rotten childhood; get rich and famous. Angela’s Ashes made Frank McCourt famous (damn that crappy movie!). He will read from, then sign, his new book, Teacher Man. Skirball Cultural Center, 2701 N. Sepulveda Blvd.; Tues., Nov. 29, 7:30 p.m.; $15, $8 students; resv. recommended. (866) 468-3399. WEDNESDAY, November 30 Paul McCartney or women’s basketball? I don’t care for either. Is it too late to start watching Lost? Paul McCartney: Staples Center, 11th & Figueroa sts., dwntwn.; Tues.-Wed., Nov. 29-30, 8 p.m.; $51.50-$259.25. (213) 480-3232. UCLA Women’s Basketball versus UC Irvine: Pauley Pavilion, Westwood; Wed., Nov. 30, 7 p.m.; $8 and $12. (213) 742-7340. THURSDAY, December 1 It’s bloody December? What the hell? Where did the year go? I need to make some lists. On second thought, better leave that to the professionals. David Wallechinsky and Amy Wallace signThe New Book of Lists: The Original Compendium of Curious Information, which features brand-new lists by Oliver Stone; Jane Fonda; Sean Connery; Robert Duvall; Pedro Almodóvar; John Waters; Dave Eggers; Brian Eno; and Elmore Leonard. Book Soup, 8818 Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood; Thurs., Dec. 1, 7 p.m.; (310) 659-3110.


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