Don't hate Melinda Hill because she's cute as a button. Hate her because she's freakin' funny, and her life is a bit of wreck. Her one-woman show is called The Accidental Bisexual & Other Stories. Hill can be seen on the upcoming Nick Swardson's Pretend Time on Comedy Central.

L.A. Weekly: Give us a hint: What's "The Accidental Bisexual" about?

The title is based on the time I was walking down the street toward a superhot lesbian, when a fat chef dumped over an olden-timey pie cart in front of us. The lesbian and I slipped on the pies and accidentally fell into the scissors position. True story. I was also inspired by the song "I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It But When I Had to Touch Her Vagina I Didn't Know What To Do."

If you could call a moratorium on one overused stand-up premise, what would it be? 

I don't enjoy comedy about the news. If I wanted to be depressed, I'd read my diary.

Does your mother approve of your career choice? My mother, Elayne Boosler, thinks I'm on the right track.

If your comedy were a musical genre, what would it be?

Power ballad with a sensitive message.

What's the funniest thing about L.A.?

Its greatest natural resource is the Kardashians.

Who do people say you look like?

Chaka Khan.

Comedy Central Stage, 6539 Santa Monica Blvd., Hlywd.; Wed., April 14, 8 p.m.; free, resv. req. (323) 960-5519. --Libby Molyneaux

Wed., April 14, 8 p.m., 2010

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