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Last Chance for a Full Cincinnati*!

Photo by Jack Gould


How about kicking off Labor Day weekend with an “education multimedia medicine show featuring a distressingly inappropriate mix of fetishized nurses, psychobabbling hand-puppets, scratchy old safety films and Grand Guignol effects”? Hey, it beats working. The Art of Bleeding, the sicko brain child of former Cacophony Society poo-bah Al Ridenour, includes performances by Nora Keyes (the Centimeters), Dame Darcy’s Death by Doll and bleeding nurse Szandora Lavey, as well as fractured jazz by Sons of Damien. (Also at the Silverlake Lounge Wed., Sept. 7.) The Smell, 247 S. Main St., downtown; Fri., Sept. 2, 10 p.m.; $5. www.artofbleeding.com.

Dear Space Aliens: If you’re reading this, please try to be in the Hollywood area this weekend for The National UFO Conference. Some of your biggest supporters will be gathering at a hotel to share evidence that you exist. Of course, speakers will talk about how the government has squashed such research since the Roosevelt administration, but one author, Lynne D. Kitei, M.D., will screen seven years’ worth of footage of a UFO seen repeatedly in Arizona. Anyway, your presence would really mean a lot to everybody. Sorry that parking will be such a bitch. But while you’re here you can visit Ripley’s Believe It or Not — it has a statue of John Wayne made from laundry lint! Renaissance Hotel, 1755 N. Highland Ave., Hollywood; Fri.-Sun., Sept. 2-4; $25 a day; free lecture, “UFOlogy 101,” Fri., 1 p.m. on the second floor. (858) 523-1068.


The first annual (they hope) Queen Mary Art Deco Fest will benefit the restoration of the original art aboard the 1936 ocean liner. You’re encouraged to dress as though you’re going to the Paris Exposition in 1925 and enjoy a Ghosts & Legends show, shipboard tours, lectures, a car show, film festival and appropriate music from the era. Lectures cover such topics as “How to Dress Deco.” Queen Mary, 1126 Queens Hwy., Long Beach; Fri.-Mon., Sept 2-5; $29.95, seniors $26.95, children $18.95. (562) 435-3511.


Forgive her if she’s too wheezy to blow out the candles (all that bad air), but today is the city of Los Angeles’ 224th birthday. We’re all invited to re-create the historic walk of the city’s original settlers at Los Pobladores Walk to Los Angeles. Begins at San Gabriel Mission at 6 a.m. and continues to Olvera Street for a birthday celebration. Free. For directions: www.sangabrielcity.com/calendar/documents/05walkbrochure.pdf or (213) 485-9769 or 485-8372.

Yeah, yeah, we know you were a punk before anyone else was a punk. You saw the Germs; you shot up with Darby; you introduced John to Exene. You fucked Belinda. You ran the Scream. You were Don Bolles and Pleasant Gehman and Kim Fowley. You’re that guy in the crowd in The Decline of Western Civilization. We get it already! So get your punk-old ass to photographer Gary Leonard’s Big Boss Reunion of L.A.’s Underground Bands From ’77 Until ’87 (“Plus all the other cool cats and kittens who helped make it happen”). Barnsdall Art Park, 4804 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood; Sun., Sept. 4, 11 a.m.; free. E-mail echoback@aol.com.


He’s the Jack White of standup comedy: goofy pageboy-black haircut and a voice that always sounds like he’s about to cry. Okay, that’s a stretch. Emo Phillips has a Monday residency at the Steve Allen Theater through the end of September. Where has he been? Did he ever go away? Is Jack White really the Emo Phillips of rock? Find out these answers and more. (Warning: Weird Al Yankovic made a surprise appearance onstage last week.) The Steve Allen Theater (at the Center for Inquiry–West), 4773 Hollywood Blvd.; every Mon., 8 p.m.; $10. (323) 666-4268.


How long could you play stowaway at the Hollywood Bowl? Until November 6, when the Rolling Stones show up? Just a thought. The Los Angeles Philharmonic performs Beethoven’s Triple Concerto. Hollywood Bowl, 2301 N. Highland Ave.; Tues., Sept. 6, 8 p.m.; $1 to $115. (323) 850-2000 or www.hollywoodbowl.org.


Our own treasury of the boob tube, the Museum of Television & Radio, kicks off a new series called “In the Prime: Fall Pilot Previews” that includes six nights of free screenings and parties devoted to the fall season. Each night is dedicated to a different network, and tonight it’s the WB. Be the first on your block to see Just Legal, Twins and Supernatural before they’re canceled for sucking. Museum of Television & Radio, 465 N. Beverly Dr., Beverly Hills; Wed.-Sun., Sept. 7-11, parties at 6:30 p.m.; screenings at 7 p.m.; free. (310) 786-1000.

 Look out for Lincoln's nose!
See Thursday.


Alfred Hitchcock’s espionage thriller North by Northwest has mama’s boy Cary Grant being chased 3,000 miles across the country. Of course, there’s the famous scene with the crop-dusting plane, and the unforgettable sequence at Mount Rushmore, which Hitchcock joked that they should call “The Man in Lincoln’s Nose.” Look for Alfred at a bus stop during the opening credits. Film historian Bill Krohn will introduce the film. American Cinematheque at the Aero Theater, 1328 Montana Ave., Santa Monica; Thurs., Sept. 8, 7:30 p.m.; $9. (323) 466-FILM.

*A Full Cincinnati is wearing a white belt and white shoes (often with a white tie and polyester suit). One or the other is a Half Cincinnati. Both are considered verboten after Labor Day. On the other hand, the no-white-after-Labor-Day rule has been relaxed in recent years (even Laura Bush wore white — blinding white, not wimpy winter white — at Dubya’s inauguration last year), and here in Los Angeles the rule has long been ignored — check out the miniskirted rock gals keeping the ’80s alive on Sunset every weekend in their studded white belts and white boots.

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