Fish Slapping, Angel Baiting and “PAUL-AH-NIK”

FRIDAY, MAY 20

Is it even possible to say “The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim” and not sound dumb, or at least really, really wrong? Sure, when you’re stuck on the 5, Southern California can seem like one giant, sprawling mega-suburb (I root for the Los Angeles Padres of San Diego), but you and I know that Los Angeles is a planet apart from the County of Orange in every single way (except for beaches and Disneyland). Since today is Bring an Orange Countian to Work Day, show them how we live and explain that we consider them like Canadians but with better tans. And later, at the Dodgers vs. Angels game, make nice and buy one a Dodger Dog. At Dodger Stadium; Fri., May 20, 7:40 p.m.; Sat.-Sun., May 21-22, 1:10 p.m.; $6-$400. (213) 480-3232.


The Steve and Eydie of the hipperati . . . the Sonny and Cher of Silver Lake — ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Los Super Elegantes. Martiniano Lopez Crozet and Milena Muzquiz are too fab for words. (And you won’t find anything nearly as super or elegant in Orange County.) With Winter Flowers. At the Echo, 1822 Sunset Blvd., Echo Park; Fri., May 20, 8:30 p.m.; $7, over 18. (213) 413-8200.



Two fifty a gallon/Ferlinghetti will be there/Please tell him, “Oh, hi.” You will get much better haikus and more after your drive up to pretty little Ojai for the Ojai Poetry Festival. Lawrence Ferlinghetti, Suzanne Lummis, Galway Kinnell and Joy Harjo are the big names of verse this year, plus there will be an open mike, local poets and teen contest winner. Libbey Bowl, Ojai; Fri., May 20, 8 p.m. Kinnell, Harjo; Sat., May 21, 1 p.m. open mike; 3-5 p.m. regional poets and teens; 8 p.m. Lummis, Ferlinghetti; $40 weekend package, individual events $20-$25. (805) 477-3007 or www.ojaipoetryfestial.org.


SATURDAY, MAY 21

Remember when “No lineups permitted prior to 7 a.m.” meant Rolling Stones tickets? (Those go on sale tomorrow, btw.) Go crazy over a boatload of designer shoes at Shoe Frenzy 2005, a benefit for Women’s Clinic & Family Counseling Center. Veterans Memorial Complex Auditorium, 4117 Overland Ave., Culver City; Sat., May 21, 8 a.m.-noon (no overnight camping); free, shoes priced $5-$100. (310) 203-8336.


The 13th Annual Los Angeles Malcolm X Festival of Arts, Culture and Education brings two days of live music, a carnival, interactive technology, a fashion show, a peace march, arts & crafts, a hip-hop symposium, panel discussions, videos, literary arts, a whiffle-ball tournament (no, not really), a college step show (don’t know what that is either), a wellness village and, if you can believe it, more. Audubon Middle School, 4120 11th Ave.; Sat.-Sun., May 21-22, noon-7 p.m.; free. (323) 295-6571.


Lonnie Jordan is the only original member of War still performing with the band, but his philosophy remains the same. “Hey, there’s only one rule that you have to abide by,” he tells his musicians. “We will not rehearse. I don’t allow thinking in this group. If you start to think, you become a polished act instead of a spiritual act.” What he means is, don’t mess with the funk. With Tierra, Malo, La Chicana Revue. At the Greek Theater, 2700 N. Vermont Ave., Griffith Park; Sat., May 21, 7 p.m. (213) 480-3232.


SUNDAY, MAY 22

For 26 years, art lovers have traipsed through the studios of real, live Venice artists at the Venice Art Walk. This year, your $50 (which goes to the Venice Family Clinic) gets you into more than 60 studios, which comes out to less than a buck each. Westminster School, 1010 Abbot Kinney Blvd., Venice; Sun., May 22, 11 a.m.; $50. (310) 392-9255 or www.venicefamilyclinic.org.


MONDAY, MAY 23

Her voice has been likened to “a damp hemp sweater,” and her sweet, folky songs will remind you of a feminine Van Morrison. Celebrate Canada’s Victoria Day with a real Irish lass, Mairead. It’ll somehow all make sense. At Temple Bar, 1026 Wilshire Blvd., Santa Monica; Mon., May 23, 9 p.m.; $5. (310) 393-6611.


Dig the premise of Chuck Palahniuk’s ( Fight Club, Choke ) new novel, Haunted : 23 would-be writers held captive at an abandoned old theater thinking they’re at a writers’ retreat. What a burn! Chuck P. reads and signs — and not that we don’t love readings that take place in bookstores, but this time there’s a full bar, plus live band the Santiago Steps (featuring writer and UC Irvine creative-writing teacher Chris Davidson) and DJ Scarecrow. And please pronounce it PAUL-AH-NIK. At Fais Do Do, 5257 W. Adams Blvd.; Mon., May 23, 8 p.m.; free, but ticket required for signing; one person/two books per ticket. For tickets: (310) 659-3110 or e-mail info@booksoup.com.


TUESDAY, MAY 24

House Husband is the name of Jason Nash’s one (emasculated)–man show, where he talks about doing dishes and laundry. Nash’s impressions of Ray Romano, Michael Douglas and Ashton Kutcher are hilarious, so it’s a safe bet this show is dang funny. Let us know otherwise. Here’s a sample: On being the only guy in his wife’s all-girls exercise class: “One day a woman walked up to the instructor and said, ‘Tracey, I totally orgasmed during your class.’ Can you imagine if a man did that? ‘Hey, Tracey, I just wanted to let you know I totally lost my nut during the bar set. See you on Monday!’ ” At Second City Theater, 8190 Melrose Ave., W. Hlywd.; Tues., May 24, 8 p.m.; $5. (323) 658-8190.


WEDNESDAY, MAY 25
Two men. Two herrings. Pure hilarity. Not to mention Michael Palin’s finest work. Yep, today and tomorrow are your last chances to see “The Fish Slapping Dance” on the big screen as part of the Museum of Television & Radio’s The IN-complete History of Monty Python, 465 N. Beverly Drive, Beverly Hills; Wed.-Sun., noon-5 p.m.; free. (310) 786-1000.


THURSDAY, MAY 26
Normally, when we think of classical musicians getting mixed up in rock, we get flashbacks of “A Fifth of Beethoven.” Rest assured, that’s not the case when Christopher O’Riley Plays Radiohead & Elliott Smith (see Music feature). UCLA, Royce Hall; Thurs., May 26, 8 p.m.; $22-$42. (310) 825-2101.



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