Dancing Fools, Baby Jane, John Doe and a Midnight Cowboy

June is bursting out all over. Literally. Can someone pass the bug spray? FRIDAY, JUNE 3 So, you think you can dance. Make that: So You Think You Can Dance. Fox is at it again, with a new reality show from the creators of American Idol — except with dancing! And auditions are this Friday! Are you jazzed? Since American Idol glorifies schlocky singing, we imagine the dancing caliber is more Debbie Allen than Margot Fonteyn. Get out your leotard and bust a move (or whatever the kids are calling it) for auditions at the Orpheum, 842 S. Broadway, dwntwn.; Fri., June 3, 8 a.m. lineup, 9 a.m. registration, 10 a.m. dance. www.fox.com. If you can fake it here . . . The Fake Gallery has finally gotten its fake act together and is presenting regular live comedy. The Ladies’ Auxiliary exemplifies Fake Gallery owner Paul Kozlowski’s impeccable taste with a fantastic lineup of sarcastic, witty, quick and brilliant gals. It’s the first Friday of every month (please, no once-a-month jokes), and this time it’s Cathy Ladman, Merrill Markoe, Laura Kightlinger, Karen Kilgariff, Kathleen Roll and honorary lady Frank Conniff. At 4319 Melrose Ave.; Fri., June 3, 9 p.m.; $10 (no booze, but you can bring your own). (323) 661-0786. SATURDAY, JUNE 4 What if L.A. had a downtown arts district? And what if it threw a ginormous street festival all relating to local art? And what if it featured exhibits and artist booths, plus exotic music, performers and weird things like the “Platonic Cube”? This is getting tedious — just go to L.A. Art Fest. At Third St. & Traction Ave.; Sat., June 4, 11 a.m.-11 p.m.; Sun., June 5, 11 a.m.-4 p.m.; free. www.laartfest.org. SUNDAY, JUNE 5 “Say, Lovey, this Pinot Noir completely harmonizes with the Pizzotella Fritta con Burrata Fresca.” Share Our Strength’s Taste of the Nation Los Angeles offers you the opportunity to sample fine and even super-fine wines paired with dishes that make your mouth say things like “harmonizes” and “con.” Mary Sue Milliken is a co-chair; please ask her why she is laughing in every photo of her ever published. Media Park, Culver & Venice blvds., Culver City; Sun., June 5, 1-5 p.m.; $75, $25 children, $150 VIP. (877) 26-TASTE. On the seventh day, God was a blind man on acid lost in Disneyland. Yep, it’s the Third Annual Los Angeles Improv Comedy Festival — a week of the best improvisational comedy this town has to offer, plus some special visitors. This year, the Del Close Award goes to Fred Willard (on June 11), and there will be performances by John Cleese, Andy Dick and the Upright Citizens Brigade, plus “an old-school improv bash” with members of Mad TV and Saturday Night Live. June 5-11; $10-$20 per performance. Tickets: (323) 962-7560; schedule: www.iowest.com. MONDAY, JUNE 6 (whoa — in one year, it’ll be 6/6/6) “I’m Lexi Foxx. I like my name, ’cause Lexi rhymes with sexy. And Foxx rhymes with box, which is another name for a vagina. Vaginas are cool ’cause me and the guys stick our penises in them all the time. Michael says if you put it in a dirty one, you can catch an SUV.” That’s the Metal Skool bassist talking. Though we can’t promise Lindsay Lohan or Jessica Simpson showing up to shout at the devil with the band, the dose of ’80s hair metal these guys deliver should be enough to send you into rehab. At the Roxy, 9009 Sunset Blvd., W. Hlywd.; every Mon., 8:30 p.m.; $12.50. (310) 278-9457. TUESDAY, JUNE 7 Who can it be now? Why, it’s Colin Hay from Men at Work! “I come from the land down under,” he will no doubt say to Jill Sobule, who will retort with “Yeah, well I kissed a girl.” Then Sara Bareilles will interrupt them, shouting, “I don’t care for your fairy tale.” We don’t know what singer-songwriter James Combs will pipe in with, but all four inspired musical artists take part in The Hollywood Heart Sutra, a benefit for children living with HIV/AIDS. KCRW’s Anne Litt fills in the gaps from the DJ booth. At Temple Bar, 1026 Wilshire Blvd., Santa Monica; Tues., June 7, 8 p.m.-1 a.m.; $30. (818) 260-0372. WEDNESDAY, JUNE 8 The only thing better than watching Bette Davis camp it up in What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? is watching it with those who appreciate its delicious outlandishness. The film screens as part of “Outfest Wednesdays.” A little rehearsal is in order: “But ya AAH Blanche, ya AAH in that chair!” Wear lots of eyebrow pencil and throw roasted rats at the screen. American Cinematheque at the Egyptian, 6712 Hollywood Blvd., Hlywd.; Wed., June 8, 7:30 p.m.; $9. (323) 466-FILM. THURSDAY, JUNE 9 By the time John Doe, born Tom Poe, had arrived in Venice Beach from Baltimore in 1979, his “T” was exhausted and fell over sideways, and his “P” was sagging from dehydration. Then he wrote a bunch of poetry that he felt compelled to scatter on a field of grenades (the nice kind). And the rest is history. He’s back on the fabulous Sunset Strip before taking to a big ol’ summer tour with Lucinda Williams. He’ll perform songs from Forever Hasn’t Happened Yet, which almost everyone should own, and then happily sign your copy. At Tower Records, 8801 Sunset Blvd., W. Hlywd.; Thurs., June 9, 7 p.m.; free. (310) 657-7300. Nothing against Jon Voight, but John Doe would have been a great Joe Buck in Midnight Cowboy. The John Schlesinger film screens, followed by a talk by Andy Garcia, when everyone will be too depressed to say anything. At the Skirball Cultural Center, 2701 N. Sepulveda Blvd.; Thurs., June 9, 7:30 p.m.; $10, $6 students. (866) 468-3399.


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