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Aural Oligopolis

THANKS AGAIN, BILL! AND THANKS to all of you for tuning in to "Bill's 30-Minute Weekend"! You're listening to K-SOFT -- Microsoft® Radio WAVs for Southern California and the World®! If you're just joining us today, or if you're a new listener, we just wrapped up another edition of "Bill's 30-Minute Weekend," a feature here every Sunday from noon to 12:30! If you missed "Bill's 30-Minute Weekend," just point your browser to http://www.webho.com/WealthClock for an instant update! And now, let's kick off another K-SOFT Sunday afternoon with a block of Windows 98 default system sounds! How should we do 'er this week, Stever -- alphabetically?! Wait! Hold everything! Ladies and gentlemen, our producer, Steve "The Ghorm" Ghormley, is waving frantically from -- hah-haaah! -- from the booth! What is it, Steve? File size?! Okay!! Big Steve says "File size!" and so file size it is! Wait a minute, Steve! Steve?! Looks like three or four of 'em are pretty much the same size, Steve. Whaddya think -- flip a coin?! You don't have a coin?! Hah-haaah!! Hey, Uncle Bill! Looks like The Ghorm could use another raise! Hah-haaah! All right! Ladies and gentlemen, I'm just gonna pick one randomly! Loading in at 99K, it's "Recycle.wav" (C:\WINDOWS\ MEDIA\Recycle.wav) right here on K-SOFT:


QKCKruntch! (one sheet, letter size 20 lb.)


Man alive! Over already?! Hah-haaah! Steve's asleep! Tell you what! While I go make Steve a fresh hot nice cup of Starbucks (http://www.starbucks.com), let's move on to our next file, also taking up just 99K, "Ding.wav" (C:\WINDOWS\MEDIA\Ding.wav) right here on K-SOFT:


DING! (correct answer on generic game show)


HOO-YAH! Like a velvet club upside the ol' noggerrooni! But I'll tell you what! About halfway into "Ding.wav" I fielded a request from Rhonda in Redondo Beach, California! Rhonda just came back from Century City, where she'd gone into the office -- can you imagine? on a Sunday? -- to work on her résumé, using one of our beautiful streamlined résumé templates (C:\MSOffice\Templates\OtherDocuments\ Resume Wizard.wiz) embellished with one of our lovely pieces of royalty-free clip-art (C:\ MSOffice\Clipart\Woodcut.wmf)! And Steve? You know what Rhonda wants? Bless her efficient little heart, all Rhonda wants is to lie back on her couch with her fresh nice hot cup of Starbucks (http://www.starbucks.com) and her mail-order catalog collection (http://www.landsend.com, http://www.eddiebauer.com, http://www.jcrewd.com/) and hear a nice long Microsoft Medley®! Why not? Here it comes, Rhonda! From your sea colon backslash windows backslash media backslash directory -- hah-haaah! -- it's "Notify.wav", "Chord.wav", "Chimes.wav", "Tada.wav" and everyone's second favorite, at almost 400K, "Logoff.wav"!!! A special Sunday Afternoon Microsoft Medley® right here on K-SOFT:


Pied piper's piccolo sampled (WHERE) into G-major triad with (DO YOU) glissando down to faux brass section presenting (WANT) deserved bliss (TO GO TODAY?).


Yehhsssssss!! Welcome back to K-SOFT, Microsoft® Radio WAVs for the Pacific Northwest and Southern California and the World®! If you're just joining us, I'm Craig Fitzpatrick along with our producer, Steve "The Ghorm" Ghormley, just returning from a Sunday Afternoon Microsoft Medley® of Windows 98 default sounds for Rhonda in Redondo Beach, California! Thanks for calling, Rhonda! Well, I tell you what! Steve and I are getting ready to log off and turn it over to Denise, Greg and Chip! So everyone, have a wonderful Windows week, and keep 'er tuned right here to K-SOFT -- Microsoft® Radio WAVs for Southern California and the World®! Now I leave y'all with America's favorite Windows 98 WAV, loading in just a few bytes shy of 700K, "The Microsoft Sound.wav" (C:\WINDOWS\MEDIA\ The Microsoft Sound.wav)!! Have a wintastic week everybody!


. . . aahhhhh . . . hovering Jesus arrives in glasses and a tie, gives everyone their Christmas bonuses and floats off through the broken window to heaven for a haircut and a cup of Starbuckssssmmmmm . . .



THANKS, CRAIG! YOU KNOW, WHEN we wimp-ass whiners whine about Windows, we're not just whining about Microsoft, the corporation! Heck, no! We're whining about Microsoft: One World Operating System (http://www.corpwatch.org/trac/feature/microsoft)! Because it doesn't really matter which is the One that's allowed to corporatize and privatize 30 years of international public creation -- the Internet, bay-buh! -- but it does matter that there's only the One! Or even Two or Three! Just like the Three Dog Night song from 1969 (http://swstation.simplenet.com/ll/ll3176.htm) sez, "two can be as bad as one"! Amen to that! That's right! And now here's Noam (http://www.corpwatch.org/trac/feature/microsoft/chomsky.html) to carry you on over into the WBABCBSMSNBC News Hour! Hoooooo-YAHHH!

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